Waycation

Way.ca.tion: A rest for the mind; an unconventional method of escaping the moment and returning refreshed and better than before.

Thursday, July 30, 2009

Think New Thought's

“I have been through some terrible things in my life, some of which actually happened.” —Mark Twain

Improving the tenor of our thoughts may seem to be a modern idea, but as Twain’s quote indicates, the fact that we can make our own misery by what we dwell upon is an age-old concern.

Why We Should Care About Our Thoughts
According to the Stress Confidential Helpline, scans on patients' brains have indicated that the types of thoughts we have influence the balance of brain chemicals. So by learning to think more positively we can cause chemicals to be secreted that boost our psychological and physical health.

Indeed, it’s well-documented that among the ill, those who remain hopeful and have a positive attitude, tend to do better.

Also, when we focus on the worse aspects of a situation that has happened to us, we ensure that our experience of it will be the worse it could be. Fortunately, the reverse is true as well.

How Do We Change Our Thoughts?
Try this technique, which was inspired by Ask and It Is Given, by Esther and Jerry Hicks.

1. Become Aware of Your Thoughts
We have to know what we’re actually thinking in order to intervene. Sit in a comfortable position and focus on your breath as it flows in and out. As thoughts arise, notice them, and then return your attention to your breathing. Do this for 20 minutes once or twice a day. It may sound simple, but awareness, purely by itself, effects subtle changes that grow.

2. Acknowledge Your Feelings
When you find yourself thinking something unhelpful, perhaps imagining
losing your job, acknowledge your fear and worry. Even if you’re magnifying the problem, your fears are likely based on actual possibilities or events. They deserve your respect.

3. Soothe Yourself and Imagine Something Better
Once you acknowledge your feelings, they may shift on their own, but in any case, say something soothing to yourself while reaching for a better thought or scenario that you actually believe. If you don’t really believe it, you won’t create a genuine impact. For instance, you might recall your healthy savings account and remind yourself, “If I lose my job, I’ll be fine for six months. Financial experts say that’s a good enough cushion for
job hunting.” Notice the relief you now feel.

4. Keep Going
Now escalate your better-feeling thoughts by reaching for an even better
positive thought. You might consider the wealth of your experience, your great contacts, or that, gosh, you’ve always wanted to travel. You might get to a place where you can say—and believe—“I don’t want to lose my job, but if I do, I could travel and then return and find an even better job!”

In a short amount of time, your fear has transformed into hopeful excitement. When you practice this technique, you demonstrate to yourself that regardless of what happens in your life, you’ll be able to thrive.

A Taxing Dilemma

Are you like me, recovering from last week's most draining annual ordeal which many would easily replace undergoing two consecutive root canals performed on a rainy Monday for? I'm referring to April 15, the yearly deadline Internal Revenue Service sets aside for us to file our tax returns. I don't know about you, but for me, the agonizing dilemma of tax season inevitably catches up with me. And guess what folks, this year was unfortunately no different. Keep in mind, my intention is always to file early,to get a head start, and by all means avoid the searing stress and strain that emerges when last minute planning is the order of the day. At least these are my lofty tax goals come January 1st each year. But wouldn't you know it, I didn't get around to my taxes until a few days before? Would I say I was perhaps slightly disappointed in myself? Absolutely. Could the process have been much smoother and angst free with early planning? You bet. And, did I find it a most frustrating, angry even, experience for me, and everyone within a 20 foot radius during April 13-15? Heck yes! Well, perhaps we can all agree that come next April 15, we'll do things earlier, easier, calmer, and nicer for those living with us, and transform the tax dilemma into anything but, by facing April 15, with empowerment and order, thus keeping our stress levels within the range of normal. Really, next year. For sure!

Yacine Bell

aminstitute@gmail.com

Props for Anger Management

All my anger management-connected colleagues are ecstatic that employers and others responsible for a staff are growing ever so closer to really 'getting' the importance of anger management. Doesn't matter if formal programs are part of employee development workshops and training, but rather that now more than any time before, are businesses and organizations really considering anger management as a means of peeling away the layers which can often explain under performance, stress, and frustration in the work environment. Two thumbs up for these innovative businesses and organizations!

It's Almost Spring!

Spring is a time of renewal which we're beginning to see evident in the natural settings around us. Emotionally, the new season can represent a new lease on life, a new start, updated plans and goals for a different, perhaps, better direction. Maybe shifting ones perspective to consider things, people, and situations from a very different vantage point is feasible now. Consider that this season, may be the perfect time to think about new possibilities for your life, particular new possibilities that result in boosting your self esteem and your overall outlook on life. Shifting the momentum in your favor could be as simple as reorganizing your workspace, or, it may involve tougher decision making such as ending an unhealthy relationship or adopting a different health regime. Whatever renewal means for you, by all means be willing to seek help when you're not sure what to do, or when you're not clear where to turn. There's much to be excited about and even more to look forward to.

Yacine Bell

aminstitute@gmail.com

Anger Management Resources Available for Tough Economy

OAKLAND, CA, March 05, 2009 /24-7PressRelease/ -- Yacine Bell, an Oakland-based anger management provider and executive coach and certified anger management is reissuing a variety of anger management resources and tools this year specifically for those people struggling to cope with frustration, fear, and anger associated with the uncertain economy. Read full press release by clicking here: http://www.24-7pressrelease.com/press-release/anger-management-resources-available-for-tough-economy-90208.php

Staying Calm, Cool, and...

We know the drill. There's much to be concerned about and worried for as we embark on the third month of 2009. Yet if we insist on taking control over our emotions and choose to remain calm and cool, we can easily impact our quality of life. I'm not suggesting we can do a thing about the plunging Dow market, or influence how our 401ks perform on any given day. Further, short of remaining professional and offering great ideas that benefit our work teams, managers' needs, and projects, ultimately we can't even control if we'll have job security. But I maintain that where we have the most power and control over our daily lives is how we choose to react to situations. Regardless of the economic downturn we all know too well is upon us, how we react to the anger and frustrations we feel when we believe we are powerless, will color a situation much more negatively and adversely than need be. Quite often, a simple adjustment to our mood, and most importantly our perceptions, can inject a feeling of hope to an otherwise difficult situation. I'm so proud of the work I'm involved in at the Anger Management Institute, with 99 percent success rate of helping move people forward from anger and frustration to calmness, self control and power over their own lives, I'm convinced that anger management is a key part for anyone struggling to maintain emotional balance. More importantly, however, are the tenacious men and women I've met through my work. People of every racial, socio-economic, and educational level who decided to take on their anger issues have created a much more satisfying life for themselves. What I've learned through helping others is that 'our' own happiness and outlook on life situations, really is much more a decision that we make and one that we can control with practice.

I would love to help you or someone you know learn more about managing anger effectively and with success by contacting me, Yacine Bell for more information. My email address is aminstitute@gmail.com.

Emotional Stimulus?

Try as I might, I just can't seem to ditch or dodge the discussion about the economic stimulus package needed to boost consumer confidence, getting unemployed people employed, helping the housing market, and so on. It is clear that our new president has an enormous burden upon him. We can only hope, and pray, that he'll be successful. Meanwhile, however, many of us are grappling with the loss of a job, or the inability to pay bills and meet monthly rent or mortgage payments. Try as we might, the prognosis for economic recovery is bleak at best. However, I'm convinced that an emotional stimulus is needed. I'm thinking an emotional stimulus as being a way for each of us to stave off the pitfalls of constantly hearing about bad and bleak news so that we can remain hopeful and optimistic, not blindly so, but remaining consciously aware of better times and improved conditions returning if we are feeling the pinch. An emotional stimulus that doesn't require an approval of a majority, but simply an acknowledgement that times are tough in many ways, but that times aren't tough in every single way. Just looking into the eyes of a youngster or senior and gleaning the warmth and depth of love that they often offer is proof enough that circumstances, good or bad, are never permanent but ever changing and evolving.

A New Start, A New Year

Starting off fresh can be the panacea for all things that went wrong before, or for things that didn't turn out exactly how we would have hoped for. And it is why new beginnings, like the start of 2009, can and maybe should, evoke feelings of hope and opportunity to get it right this time. Doesn't matter if getting it right means you've committed to eating healthier, exercising regularly, separating recyclables, doing your part for the environment, or to simply take more time for self awareness and improvement, when you decide to make important changes in your life, you make an investment in yourself that reaps great rewards for the most important beneficiary: you. As we embark on this most anticipated new year, be ever mindful that we are always at a place to start anew, mend what was broken or improve or change our lives if we wish to do so--here's to a wonderful new start in a year with numerous possibilities--Yacine Bell

For more information about anger management, contact Yacine Bell at to 510-393-0250 or email her at aminstitute@gmail.com.

The Holidays...

The holidays are here and the remaining weeks of the year are upon us. Considering the many facets I've come to discover about anger management over the years, one important fact is that for many of us the holidays in particular are a source of great stress and often sadness. There are numerous reasons why the most 'joyous' time of the year might provoke anxiety, one obvious reason the difficulty it is for most people to measure up to the Hallmark image of family camaraderie, gleeful spending, and feelings of good will to all, this time of year. Also, many times the holidays evoke memories of a simpler time when loved ones, who are now long gone, were vibrantly alive and represented the central and cohesive member of the family and of family traditions. Then there are those whose memories of holidays were rife with unhappiness and pain. Whatever the scenario, know and understand that all of these experiences are valid and should be considered when feelings of anger, sadness, and stress cloud our ability to be joyous and happy. The great news is that today is always a new day, full of potential new experiences which you'll decide how to live out. Remember to always live your life well and on purpose and of course Happy Holidays!

My self, Yacine Bell and the Anger Management Institute is working to enhance peoples lives, contact me directly for more information at aminstitute@gmail.com.

President-elect Obama's Relevant Message

Any seasoned anger management expert, or one who is committed to healing and growth, will often implore a client or dear friend who has ever experienced betrayal, hurt, or any variety of unhappiness or unfairness at the hands of another, to move on and look ahead, and even forgive. The notion that forgiveness is the link to healing and growth could never be more true. Even our President-elect Barack Obama has implored the nation of supporters and non supporters to put the past 12-months of unrelenting and contensious campaigning behind us so that we might look ahead to a new day rife with hope and promise. Where anger in particular is concerned, it is my hope and a focus of my practice to impart the idea of letting the past stay in the past so that life and great opportunities can flourish. If you're struggling with 'letting go' or stuck, my anger management program could be the first step towards renewal and healing. My self, Yacine Bell and the Anger Management Institute is working to enhance peoples lives, contact me directly for more information at aminstitute@gmail.com.

Anger and Life's Challenges

Anger, bickering, resentment are all examples of behaviors employees might exhibit when acting out aggressively in the workplace. For human resources professionals who advise organizations about staffing issues and procedures, it is expected that certain life events and specific times of the year can elicit the worse in employees, particularly those grappling with anger control. A fine example is the economic unrest leaving many to wonder how their dwindling 401k balances, new and ever-changing credit rules, and employment uncertainty will affect them.Times like these are fuel for people without good anger management and can lead to one directing his/her aggression at others on the job, expressing anger toward family members, or using road rage as a means to blow off steam. Experts in anger management suggest one of the best methods for gaining control of these turbulent times, is to turn off the source of the messages that bombard and overwhelm us and lead us to feel hopeless. For many it is watching television, listening to talk radio or news broadcast on the radio. In other words experts suggest that people should consider choosing anything but what you've chosen before to get news and information. Opting out of watching the nightly news may be a big shift for most, but a necessary one for if we're ever going to get a handle on life's challenges and the way in which we react to think about them.Surprisingly, there are numerous tools and tips that are ideal for anyone struggling with anger. These can easily be incorporated into any ones life so that we can lead a much happier and contented quality of life.The Anger Management Institute is working to enhance peoples lives, learn more by visiting angerinstitute.net .

Identifying 'Triggers' That Lead to Anger

For many, maintaining an optimistic and favorable outlook on the realities of a troubled economy seems practically impossible. Yet, to fall prey to newspaper headlines, night time and cable news reports, etc., without remembering that we all have the power to choose how we react to conditions we can't control, ultimately leaves us feeling powerless. And for those of us who have ever had to manage anger know that feelings of powerlessness is a major factor that can lead to outbursts of anger and violence. A great way to stave off the feelings, emotions, fears and other factors commonly known as 'triggers' that lead to angry reactions and attitudes, is to fully process and ponder how certain information makes us feel and how we react to these feelings. A self check is often more than enough to help keep our emotions in check when faced with conditions on the job, in traffic, within marriage, and other relationships that might be rife with stress. A self check is simply being aware of how we feel at any given moment so that our comments and responses are appropriate, and also so that they are not based on other situations which cause us worry or fear. At the Anger Management Institute, we address violence anger and the various triggers that help fuel these emotions. Additionally, we help you find workable solutions and give you the tools to manage anger effectively.

For more information about anger management, contact Yacine Bell at to 510-393-0250 or email her at aminstitute@gmail.com.


$700 Billion Bail Outs and Other Stresses

If Secretary of Treasury Henry Paulson isn't already a household name to you, than certainly Lehman Brothers, Bear Stearns, and Goldman Sachs must be. In fact, in light of these Wall Street investment institutions which have dominated the news headlines recently and the overall fallout of the financial market collapse, now more than ever is the best time to guard against growing angst, feelings, and frustration that result from disturbing news reports and unfavorable turn of events. Whether we're responsible for large groups of employees, or we're individuals grappling with change, know that many of us are frustrated and unsure about our future and our place in it. For those of us struggling with anger management, a simple CNN headline stating escalating oil prices, or the most recent corporation laying off staff, is enough to ignite hateful arguments at home; spark a confrontation on the job; or lead to a dangerous road rage incident. Thanks to the work I am proud to be part of through the Anger Management Institute (AMI) people are finding remarkable tools that enable them endure living through uncertainty and difficult times. Information about anger management is available by contacting Yacine Bell, www.aaamp.org. To reach Ms. Bell directly, please call to 510-393-0250 or email her at aminstitute@gmail.com.

Autumn 2008: Precursor to the Holidays!

Holiday Ritual

With the holiday’s officially beginning in a few months this is a good time to review many of the chapters in the Anderson and Anderson workbooks with your clients to help them navigate successfully through the holidays.

Joe, Sharon, Maggie, Anthony and Stephen are clients of mine that have issues of stress which leads them to anger. They all dread the holidays because in their words it tends to “bring out the worst in them”. That is why we began to review chapters on stress and anger, communications and emotional intelligence. As I told them everything we have learned up to now were lessons for life however the approaching holiday season will be an important test. By reviewing certain chapters and information I am preparing my clients for the big exam which is surviving the holidays and even having a few laughs along the way.

Today we worked on the 'Stress Chapter' as though it were the first time they have ever seen it. One of the great things about reviewing the chapter is many things that my clients might have missed, or they were not ready to grasp in the early stages of their learning, or because of their new growth they were able to grasp and embrace willingly and enthusiastically.

In addition to review we rewrote affirmation and positive self talk statements which were far more powerful than their early statements.

Today we had arts and crafts day in the last few minutes of our session. This is when we made small survival baggies to keep at work, home and in the car. Each baggie contained a few types of relaxing teas, including, mint, chamomile, and a tea called mood mender. We also included in these packages 'Rescue Remedy', and inspirational sayings. There homework assignment was to purchase a traveling hot/cold cup and a plastic water bottle as part of the tool box for holiday survival. Additionally, they were to commit to stepping out of the ring of intense energy by walking, or any other physical exercise three times a week.

Help your clients through the impending holidays by reviewing and strategizing tools for managing. If you like the idea, have your clients make a survival kit so that they may have a calm and enjoyable holiday season.

Saving Lives, Managing Anger

Saving Lives, Managing Anger

Several weeks ago a client came to me four days after being released from a lengthy hospital stay due to severe heart problems. Joe came knowing he was close to death.

In our initial consultation Joe noted he had heart problems. He had anger and stress issues as well. Joe’s perception of the world could be summed up in a few words: “there was a bad guy at every turn and that bad guy wasn’t going to get him.” This type of thinking kept Joe at a high state of perceived “fight or flight” stress which consequently was chipping away at his heart.

Joe came to me with little confidence and hope. I began our first session by administering the Conover Assessment with an agreement that if, after this first session he didn’t want to proceed with the process we would not go on.

My ability to interpret the Conover assessment tool made Joe feel “seen” and based on his results I mapped out what our program would look like focusing first on the areas of highest concerns. The primary focus of work was to begin with the chapters on stress from the workbook,Gaining Control of Ourselves.

While change occurred within the first two sessions, they were not enough to prevent another heart scare. When his symptoms did not abate, Joe’s doctors were ready to place him back in the hospital. He was to check himself into the hospital within the next few days.

“Joe, you have to connect the work from your brain to your heart,” I said. “This perceived stress is not all in your head, but that is where it begins.” Then I quoted from Gaining Control of Ourselves,” for one person, an event may be viewed as a perceived challenge, for another, it may be viewed as a severe threat or problem.”

I went on from there in a tone just a little loud and a tad forceful. “You must stop looking at everything as a perceived threat.”

I told Joe his body was idling to high and staying in the “fight, fight and freeze” place 24/7 with nowhere to go was not going to help his mental or physical conditions. Feeling helpless and fearful that Joe’s big heart attack was close at hand, I pulled out his assessment and went over it with him again, I gave him three assignments: to have fun with himself, go out with one other person, and to go to the company cookout scheduled for the next day.

Joe heard me. He heard the contents of the things I quoted from the workbook, and he did his assignments. He took his drums to the company picnic, and to everyone’s amazement he played and played and played with an expertise and skill base that amazed his co-workers.

Today, only eight weeks from beginning at the Anger Management Institute and following the Anderson model and curriculum, Joe has color in his skin, he smiles, makes eye contact when he speaks and told me last week he was happy. He has been to a few more company events at the invitation of his co-workers and he believes in me and my work.

Yacine Bell CAMF; CPCC; Certified Mediator

Director of the Anger Management Institute

Shopping Online for Anger Management

Anger Management on the Internet

The internet has become the place to buy, sell, learn and even meet the person of your dreams. While the internet offers convenience on many levels, it is not the vehicle for people with anger issues. Anyone with anger management issues needs a trained professional to move them forward.

In my opinion people who have been ordered by the court or an employer should refrain from using online services offering anger management intervention. Many of these resources are not certified and not trained in a reliable model that the courts and accept.

There are many ways to get through court ordered anger management quickly, however, working with an uncertified provider is NOT the way. Whenever inquiring with a provider about their services be sure they are certified. Other ways to protect your time and money is to find an Anderson trained provider. You can go to the American Association of Anger Management Providers List (http://www.aaamp.org) , or the Anger Management Directory (http://www.anger-management-resources.org ).

On-line anger management provided by a non-certified provider does not guarantee court acceptance.

Yacine E. Bell CAMF; CPCC; Certified Mediator

Director of the Anger Management Institute, LLC

President of the American Association of Anger Management Providers

www.angerinstitute.net

510.393.0250

About Me

The concerns that you have regarding workplace violence and conflict are real and troublesome. The latest data indicates that bad behavior in the workplace is increasing exponentially.

My name is Yacine Bell, and I am a certified anger and stress management specialist and the director of the Anger Management Institute (AMI). Since 2005, AMI has maintained a 99% success rate of client-changed behavior, with no regression.

The Anger Management Institute uses a scientifically designed evidence-based program to conduct pre- and post client evaluation. This assessment tool allows me to get to the core of existing issues rapidly, eliminate the negative behavior and facilitate changed behavior in approximately 10 weeks.

I see a client one hour a week with little to no interruption of their work schedule. By the third or fourth week, the behavior begins to shift. The remaining weeks are spent learning new tools and grounding the new behavior.

The results of my service have proven invaluable in the workplace in terms of improved workplace environment, elimination of negative behavior, reduction and/or management of stress levels. I have also been instrumental working with employers, and their successful resolution in liability issues and workman’s compensation issues. The ROI in working with the Anger Management Institute are proven and documented.

If you see the value to your organization in eliminating bad behavior and changing the workplace environment then please give me a call.

I can provide value to your organization by eliminating bad behavior and changing the workplace environment. Please call: 510.393.0250 for more information.

Welcome to MadManagement

Welcome to MadManagement, my new blog about anything and everything relevant to anger and anger mangagement. Through this blog I hope to engage practitioners and people from every walk of life grappling with anger. Consider this blog a forum and social network to join in the discussion and share experiences, successes and failures, about one of the most misunderstood emotions--anger.

As an anger management provider and executive coach with considerable experience providing anger management assessments and intervention to businesses and industries in Northern California, I also participate as a lecturer, speaker, writer and visionary. Last month I was appointed to lead the American Association of Anger Management Providers (AAAMP) organization; my first goal in taking on this responsibility will be to help increase the visibility and credibility of the organization. As our society becomes more stressed and our natural support systems are lost, our ability to manage anger is reduced. Anger management is by far the most promising intervention available to address the issues of incivility, anger, stress, miscommunication and lack of emotional intelligence.

AAAMP was organized in 2003 to become the leading voice to express the concerns of Certified Anger Management Facilitators (CAMF) nationwide. Today, there are thousands of certified anger management facilitators nationwide representing the most highly trained individuals in anger management in the world. While Anger Management as a specialized practice is in its infancy, AAAMP continues to advocate for excellence on the part of practitioners and scholars in the field. Practice based research will be imperative to further develop evidenced based solutions to inappropriate expressions of anger and person-directed violence. Like my predecessor, I will work to achieve the following major objectives: 1) To increase the visibility of the Association in every state among schools, organizations and individuals; 2) To provide members with technical support and assist them in providing relevant services; 3) To increase membership; 4). To establish state standards nationwide for all professional anger management providers; 5) To ensure that AAAMP becomes the single most respected voice on anger management issues nationwide.

Through greater visibility in the print, television media and over the internet, I will make the voice of "AAAMP ers" known nationwide on emerging social issues.

Complete and full details on the American Association of Anger Management Providers can be found by visiting www.aaamp.org. You can reach me, Yacine Bell, directly at 510-393-0250 or via email at aminstitute@gmail.com.