Way.ca.tion: A rest for the mind; an unconventional method of escaping the moment and returning refreshed and better than before.

Monday, December 8, 2014

Using My Own Skill Base

 I’m on an extra tight schedule like everyone else at this time of year.  I have a couple of parties to give in the next few days and I have to fit in a lot of extra task above and beyond my already full life.  The carpet cleaners were late and it was clear by his voice over the phone he would rather be having lunch than picking up carpets.  It was pretty easy to detect that I too was a little irritated.

With my hand on the door knob turning to admit the carpet cleansers and a vision of ghost of arguments past, I knew where this could go if I were to sprew my frustrations.  I consciously choose another way of being. I decided to change my energy.  The fact of the matter is I know that everything that has to get done will get done and all will be well.  Even with a glich I can manage that too.  Because I always have.

Stress is not always a reaction to a specific situation.  Most often it is our thoughts that lead to intense feelings of stress.  For awhile I was caught up in my thinking about all the things I had to do and the lateness of the carpet cleaners.  As I waited for the carpet cleaners I found myself in a place of unproductive tension. 

 Unproductive tension is always a villain. Unproductive tension is when the mind starts on a path where one thought leads to another, and another and another and agitation begins to build.  It is like a space between an event or situation where you can make a mountain out of a mole hill. The solution was to notice what was happening and stop the momentum of the thoughts that I was creating all in my head.
I had to create other thoughts and assurances that would serve me. I conciously had to turn the unproductive tention into usable energy.  I had to remind myself that I have a choice of how I can feel. Instead of telling myself how terrible all of this was going and getting frustrated I reminded myself that 'everything is going to be fine in the end"! 
 And it was.
 Watch your thoughts. Catch yourself when you are being negative. If you're already under time contraints and the time is counting down you'll do far better to the finish managing your thoughts and attitutde. 
Anger Management Institute, LLC Specializing in impulse control and people skills. 

Tuesday, December 2, 2014

Taking A Look At The Workplace Bully Part I

27% of Americans have suffered abusive conduct at work. Another 21% have witnessed abuse in the workplace and 72% are aware that workplace bullying happens.

 Now lets' take a look at the definition of a workplace bully as described by the Workplace Bully Institute:

Workplace Bullying is repeated, health-harming mistreatment of one or more persons (the targets) by one or more perpetrators. It is abusive conduct that is:

To break it down the workplace bully has control issues (probably on the job and off).  The perpetrator targets an individual (s) using a strategy of timing, location and method to threaten, The purpose is to degrade, insult, embarrass, intimidate and undermine.  The bully can use direct actions or actions of omission that include withholding information or resources.  In addition to attacking the person the actions of the workplace bully also undermines legitimate business interest for personal interest/issues.

Any of the above description remind you of something else? If you thought Domestic Violence you are right! Surprising as it may sound the workplace bully's profile is very close to the batterer's profile and at the core of both types is less about anger and more about power and control over a targeted individual.
Being bullied as an adult in the workplace can have a huge impact on the psychological and physical health of the victim as well as employee peers. 

I work with workplace bully's and in Thursday installment you'll meet Susan an employer ordered bully. I had to come up with a combination of modalities to work with Susan because a straightforward anger management program wasn't going to be quit right to address her issues.  I borrowed from some of my Domestic Violence tools combined with anger management and EQ.  The results were amazing.

Anger Management Institute, LLC An emotional intelligence based practice