Topeka, Kansas City Council Considers Decriminalizing Domestic Violence To Save Money!!

I read this report by Marie Diamond and was a appauled at this story which I would like to pass on to you.

While I am not writing about anything we don't already know our country is currently faced with the worst budget crises since the Great Depression, states and cities have resorted to increasingly desperate measures to cut costs. State and local governments have laid off teachers, slashed Medicaid funding, and even started unpaving roads and turning off streetlights. I read an article recently in a local paper where people have been spotting more rats. The reason was given that the City cannot to afford to do routine extermination.

Perhaps the most shocking idea to save money that I have recently read is is being debated right now by the City Council of Topeka, Kansas. The city could repeal an ordinance banning domestic violence because some say the cost of prosecuting those cases is just too high:

Last night, in between approving city expenditures and other routine agenda items, the Topeka, Kansas City Council debated one rather controversial one: decriminalizing domestic violence. Nooooooooooooooooooo!

Here’s what happened: Last month, the Shawnee County District Attorney’s office, facing a 10% budget cut, announced that the county would no longer be prosecuting misdemeanors, including domestic violence cases, at the county level. Finding those cases suddenly dumped on the city and lacking resources of their own, the Topeka City Council is now considering repealing the part of the city code that bans domestic battery. [...]

Since the county stopped prosecuting the crimes on September 8th 2011, it has turned back 30 domestic violence cases. Sixteen people have been arrested for misdemeanor domestic battery and then released from the county jail after charges weren’t filed. “Letting abusive partners out of jail with no consequences puts victims in incredibly dangerous positions,” said Becky Dickinson of the YWCA. “The abuser will often become more violent in an attempt to regain control.” This is ABSOLUTELY not the answer. Domestic Violence offenders cannot be set free after beating, badgering and persecuting women, elderly, children, LGBTQ or any person. This isn't the wild west!!

The YMCA said that some survivors were afraid for their safety if the dispute wasn’t resolved soon. Town leaders and the district attorney all agree that domestic abuse cases should be prosecuted — but no one would step up to foot the bill. The city council is expected to make its decision on decriminalizing domestic violence next week, but the back-and-forth over funding has already put battered women and their families at increased risk of harm.

Domestic violence is still at epidemic levels in the United States, and too few cases are prosecuted as it is. According to the National Coalition Against Domestic Violence, one in four women will be a victim of domestic violence. Domestic abuse is a crime that damages entire communities, not just women. Witnessing violence between one’s parents is the strongest risk factor of transmitting violent behavior from one generation to the next: boys who witness domestic violence are twice as likely to abuse their own partner when they grow up.

Not prosecuting domestic violence cases is a Disatrous short term solution, and is an irresponsible consideration. By the way Domestic Violence has staggering financial consequences. The health-related costs of domestic violence exceeds $5.8 billion each year. Nearly $4.1 billion of that is for direct medical and mental health care services, and nearly $1.8 billion are for the indirect costs of lost productivity or wages. Victims lost almost 8 million days of paid work because of the violence.

It should go without saying, but apparently doesn’t, that preventing domestic abuse is essential to promoting communities’ economic and social well-being of everyone of all ages in all communities. That the Topeka City Council would even consider such action is a heartbreaking illustration of the consequences of austerity.

The number one killer of women is surprisingly not a disease. Did you know that Domestic Violence is the number one killer of women?

I hope that no council anywhere will ever make this same consideration as the folks in Topeka, Kansas.

If you or anyone you know needs or wants Domestic Violence Counseling please call Yacine Bell at the Anger Management Institute, LLC. 510.393.0250


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Tips To Prevent Holiday Stress And Depression

By Mayo Clinic

When stress is at its peak, it's hard to stop and regroup. Try to prevent stress and depression in the first place, especially if the holidays have taken an emotional toll on you in the past.

1. Acknowledge your feelings. If someone close to you has recently died or you can't be with loved ones, realize that it's normal to feel sadness and grief. It's OK to take time to cry or express your feelings. You can't force yourself to be happy just because it's the holiday season.

2. Reach out. If you feel lonely or isolated, seek out community, religious or other social events. They can offer support and companionship. Volunteering your time to help others also is a good way to lift your spirits and broaden your friendships.

3. Be realistic. The holidays don't have to be perfect or just like last year. As families change and grow, traditions and rituals often change as well. Choose a few to hold on to, and be open to creating new ones. For example, if your adult children can't come to your house, find new ways to celebrate together, such as sharing pictures, emails or videotapes.

4. Set aside differences. Try to accept family members and friends as they are, even if they don't live up to all your expectations. Set aside grievances until a more appropriate time for discussion. And be understanding if others get upset or distressed when something goes awry. Chances are they're feeling the effects of holiday stress and depression too.

5. Stick to a budget. Before you go gift and food shopping, decide how much money you can afford to spend. Then stick to your budget. Don't try to buy happiness with an avalanche of gifts. Try these alternatives: Donate to a charity in someone's name, give homemade gifts or start a family gift exchange.

6. Plan ahead. Set aside specific days for shopping, baking, visiting friends and other activities. Plan your menus and then make your shopping list. That'll help prevent last-minute scrambling to buy forgotten ingredients. And make sure to line up help for party prep and cleanup.

7. Learn to say no. Saying yes when you should say no can leave you feeling resentful and overwhelmed. Friends and colleagues will understand if you can't participate in every project or activity. If it's not possible to say no when your boss asks you to work overtime, try to remove something else from your agenda to make up for the lost time.

8. Don't abandon healthy habits. Don't let the holidays become a free-for-all. Overindulgence only adds to your stress and guilt. Have a healthy snack before holiday parties so that you don't go overboard on sweets, cheese or drinks. Continue to get plenty of sleep and physical activity.

9. Take a breather. Make some time for yourself. Spending just 15 minutes alone, without distractions, may refresh you enough to handle everything you need to do. Take a walk at night and stargaze. Listen to soothing music. Find something that reduces stress by clearing your mind, slowing your breathing and restoring inner calm.
Seek professional help if you need it. Despite your best efforts, you may find yourself feeling persistently sad or anxious, plagued by physical complaints, unable to sleep, irritable and hopeless, and unable to face routine chores. If these feelings last for a while, talk to your doctor or a mental health professional.

Learn To Prevent Holiday Stress, Anger and Depression

Learn To Prevent Holiday Stress, Anger And Depression
Starts: December 3, 2011 9:00AM
Ends: December 3, 2011 12:00 PM
Event Type:Training/ Seminar
Location:Anger Management Institute
247 4th Street
Oakland, California 94607
Price:$150.00
Website:http://www.angerinstitute.net
Industry:Health, wellness, fitness, mental health
Keywords: anger management, stress management, emotional intelligence, empathy enhancement, communications
Intended For: This training is open to the general public however, HR Managers and people who work with others will gain enormously from this experience.

Yacine Bell will present an informative, engaging, interactive, and always humorous workshop. Yacine is a trained and certified Anderson and Anderson Provider and will use the internationally known and respected Anderson model as the foundation of her work in this seminar. Each participant will receive our popular Contrasting Wheels of Behavior that serves as a handy, pocket size reference for the "do’s and don'ts "of anger and stress management. Each participant will leave with a special "keep calm for the holiday kit," chock full of effective gifts to assist in keeping participants calm and focused.

The focus of this workshop will be on emotional intelligence skill enhancement for preventing holiday anger, stress and depression.
The workshop is held in a comfortable and relaxed setting which helps create a great working enviornment. Limited seating available so call today!

Anger Management Institute, LLC 510.393.0250

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The Power Of Words

The power of words mentioned below is part of my daily practice and part of my professional practice. A strong proponent of my practice is to bring people into the awareness of their personal Self-Talk. This is the inward conversation we have with ourselves that determines largely our behavior, accomplishments and relationships. Another proponent of my practice is teaching people assertive communication. This is the practice of being clear about telling others your thoughts and feelings in a direct and honest way without violating or stepping on your rights as a person or the rights of others. This outward conversation determines our behavior and relationships as well.

It took me time to realize how my words could affect or infect others.
Here are some tips to get those of you who want to shift towards a more fulfilling life...
For starters I challenge you to put a rubber band on your left hand and for the next 24 hours become aware of your judgments (to yourself and others). SNAP when you catch yourself judging (sorry I never encourage pain but in this case it is just for awareness).

How is what your judging a reflection of you? Is there some healing to be done there? Remember, people can push your buttons, BUT they didn’t install them!

I suggest you adopt some new behavior: The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz, might be a good start.

1.Be impeccable with your word (do what you say you are going to do, your word is your honor. Be good to your integrity)

2. Don’t take anything personally (what people say or do is only a projection of what they are going through, not your reality. You choose the experience you want to have)

3. Don’t make assumptions (people cannot read your mind, and vise-a-versa you are not a mind reader, always ask for what you want)

4. Always do your best (if you know you’ve done your best, the only judge can be you, allow yourself to feel complete)

Now go forth and prosper and ponder on this one thought “wish for others what you want in your life”, I promise your life will change. It’s a powerful secret.
Stay in touch.

The Anger Management Institute specializes in anger and stress management with competency in teaching you communication skills and emotional intelligence.

Want to change your life and relationships?

Call: Yacine Bell Director of the Anger Management Institute LLC 510.393.0250

Leaders Have High Emotional Intelligence (Including Self-Control)

By RICK NAUERT PHD Senior News Editor

Reviewed by John M. Grohol, Psy.D. on September 22, 2010

This is a excellent article and repost.

According to a new study, the ability to understand emotions is a key ingredient in people who become leaders in groups with no formal authority.

Researchers base their findings after two different studies on commerce students. Study participants were given an emotional ability test as part of the study, as well as a self-analysis of their emotional skills.

Then, they organized themselves into small groups or were randomly assigned to small groups and were given a group project to do.

At the end of the project they were asked to identify whom they thought had shown the greatest leadership.

Those identified by their peers as leaders scored high on the emotional ability test, which included tasks such as identifying emotions in faces in a photograph, and rating the effectiveness of different emotion regulation strategies.

People’s perceptions of their own emotional skills, however, did not predict leadership as reliably.

The study adds to evidence that emotional intelligence is a separate trait from other leadership qualities such as having cognitive intelligence and being cooperative, open to ideas, and conscientious.

“Traditionally we’ve had the assumption that leaders have high IQ, are gregarious individuals, or happen to be dominant personalities,” says researcher Stéphane Côté, a professor at the University of Toronto’s Rotman School of Management and one of four researchers involved with the study.

“But this shows it’s not just about these traditional factors,” says Prof. Côté.

“It’s also about being able to process other people’s emotions. Anybody who wants to pursue a position of leadership and power can benefit from these abilities.”

The study was published in the journal Leadership Quarterly .

The Anger Management Institute, LLC, works with many industry leaders, educational professionals, upper management, and civic and Government Leaders. We are specialist in the field of Emotional Intelligence. Our program is and evidence based program with a pre-and post assessment.

Call: Yacine Bell, Director of the Anger Management Institute, LLC for more information. 510.393.0250