Waycation

Way.ca.tion: A rest for the mind; an unconventional method of escaping the moment and returning refreshed and better than before.

Friday, November 30, 2012

2013 Upcoming Facilitator Trainings

 Are you interested in learning how to be an Anger Management Facilitator? Here are the  first of the 2013 Anger Management Facilitator trainings.  I will be personally teaching the Oakland Training.  For more information please call the Anger management Institute @510.393.0250 


Tuesday, November 13, 2012

Services Offered At The Anger Management Institute, LLC

The Anger Management Institute, LLC, specializes in Anger and Stress management, and Emotional Intelligence Coaching for individuals, groups, management and upper management.  In addition we offer:

  • Bar-On EQ 2.0 Emotional Intelligence Assessments
  • Court Ordered Anger Management Behavior Assessments
  • Emotional Intelligence Coaching
  • Private Coaching
  • Presentations
  • Anger Management Consultation
  • Organizational Anger Management
  • Civility Coaching for Attorneys
  • Anger Management Coaching for Self-Referred
  • Anger Management Coaching in Spanish and English
  • All Services are provided for the Disabled including Hearing impaired
  • Military
  • Court Ordered

Tuesday, November 6, 2012

My Secret Weapon:The Kitchen Timer


I don’t know about you, but there are times when I can’t complete (or sometimes start) the simplest or even an important task. My secret weapon: a kitchen timer.

When I'm feeling paralysis around completing an important task, I use a kitchen timer to help me move forward. I use it for all sorts of tasks.    Whether it's a dresser drawer a closet that needs to be cleaned or a desk that needs to be organized, the timer can truly be your friend.  It works for anything!  

Whatever the task, I start by setting the timer for ten minutes and I focus on the task until the timer sounds.   You'll be pleasantly surprised at what you can accomplish in that time.  The entire task is really the sum total of small pieces. The overwhelm comes from looking at the daunting whole. The clue is to do the task in small chunks. Then you can nip procrastination in its evil bud!!

 By using a timer as a tool, you're getting the task done with the added benefit of emptying your head from constantly "thinking about getting the task done".  Over thinking a task creates stress, and IT’S an energetic drain!   You can stay with job for the ten minutes or you can decide to increase the time and finish another round.  You're in control. Be conservative about your time increase in the beginning.  Whatever you do start with ten minutes and work until you hear the "ding".  


Wednesday, October 31, 2012

Breaking News In Emotional Intelligence for Anger Management.


This is a re-post from one of the blogs that the Anger Management Guru, George Anderson posted on October 26, 2012.  The Anderson model which is the model that I use at the Anger Management Institute,  in Oakland, California  This model is the most successful and effective model for anger management worldwide.  See below who we train as providers of anger management as well as who we service.

Health Care Organizations, Fortune 500 Companies, the Veterans Administration, U.S. Marine Corp, Air Fore, U.S. Coast Guard as well as the Criminal Justice System have all played a major role is promoting mandatory Emotional Intelligence for impulse control.

Some Examples of organizational support for Emotional Intelligence Coaching for anger management:


  • The California Board of Corrections has approved Evidenced Based Anger Management for all California Prisons.
  • The California Superior Court has approved Certified Anger Management Facilitators for mandated court referrals.
  • The Veterans Administration has approved Anger Management Facilitator Certification training for Clinical Social Workers employed by the VA nationwide.
  • The Joint Commission on the Accreditation of Health Care Organizations has approved Emotional Intelligence for “disruptive physicians”.
  • The Illinois State Supreme Court has approved Civility Training for Illinois attorneys as a condition of licensing.
  • Monster.com is now advising applicants to voluntarily undergo an Emotional Intelligence Assessment prior to applying for jobs in which emotional intelligence skills such as sales, leadership or customer services.

In summary, coaching for impulse control/anger management is increasing in its’ recognition by major employers nationwide.

Wednesday, October 24, 2012

American Association Of Anger Management Providers

The AAAMP is the official voice of anger management worldwide. If you are interested in emotional intelligence, communication, stress management, anger management, psychotherapy or conflict resolution.

Emotional Intelligence Coaching for impulse control is one of the fastest growing interventions currently available in Human Resources, Social Services and Well-Being services for executives, middle managers and line staff in the nation.

The American Association of Anger Management Providers advocates well-being services including civility for attorneys and coaching for disruptive physicians as well as employees at all levels.


For more information about anger or stress management services or Emotional Intelligence Coaching pleas contact the Anger Management Institute, LLC, 510.393.0250

Yacine Bell
President Of The American Association of Anger Management Providers
Official Website:http://aaamp1.wordpress.com


Monday, October 1, 2012

Keep An Anger Log


When we look at a situation that make us angry, it is common to blame the situation and other people for our anger.  We tend to think that what someone else did is the cause of our anger and inappropriate responses. Contrary to this belief other people or situations are NOT what makes us act inappropriately.  What really makes us angry is our is thinking angrily about the things that happen to us.  Whatever we think or tell ourselves about an event makes us angry.  NOT THE EVENT.

One tool I use with some clients is to keep an anger log.  Whenever you are aware of feeling angry is when you should write in your log.  You can write in your Anger Log immediately after the episode occurs or at the end of the day when you have had more time to reflect. 

One purpose of keeping an Anger Log is that you will begin to be more aware of the triggering thoughts and consequences of your anger. 

Don't get a pretty book to use as an Anger Log just get a composition or inexpensive notebook.  Really nice journals often make us think that we should be smart or write flowing sentences that are grammatically correct.  This Anger Log is for you alone.  Just write.

Keep your log simple and follow these steps each time:

Situation: Describe the situation about which you have become angry.

1. Beliefs - What did you tell yourself about a situation.
2  Feelings - Describe how you felt
3. Actions - Describe what you did.
4. Dispute - If your thinking is what caused the anger, modify your thought process. In other words what is another prospective to stand in around the event. 

Got Anger?  Call the Anger Management Institute, LLC @ 510.393.0250

Monday, August 20, 2012

Taking a Time Out


There are a few different references as to who coined the concept of "time out".  The story that resonates for me is that a psychologist invented "time out" as a means to gather oneself and or re-center.  Over time "time-out" became a negative and a punishment.

 When angry or stressed  "time-out" is a great tool.  The technique of "time out" or to "gather oneself" works almost immediately.  Along with helping deescalate a situation it is an important tool in dis-engaging so that you don't say or do something that is damaging.  

"Time-Out provides an opportunity to think through what is happening.  Once removed from the situation it is possible to consider other ways to solve an issue in a manner that is not violent in words or actions.  "Time Out" doesn't mean walk away from the situation.   It means to disengage and then reengage later.  If you decide to leave for some amount of time say, twenty minutes to an hour honor your word and comeback when promised. That will help build trust.  When sufficiently cooled down then reengage however just know if things start to escalate "Time-Out again.  Sometimes it takes a few attempts to solve an issue.  A "Time-Out" is a much better choice than saying something that may live in the mind of your loved one, colleague or peer long after the disagreement has passed.

If anger is an issue and is affecting workplace or personal relationships then anger management or Emotional Intelligence Coaching is the solution.  Anger is a very solvable issue.  You only have to want to do the work. 

Anger Management Institute, LLC 510.393.0250

Wednesday, August 1, 2012

Coaching for Emotional Intelligence/Impulse Control

Civility Training for Attorneys, Executive Coaching for Emotional Intelligence has come a long ways in making intervention for anger management acceptable if not a new sign of status.

The range of people professionally and personally seeking Civility Training, Anger Management and Emotional Intelligence Training include everyone from sports figures, the Hollywood elite as well as discrete politicians. The increase in people quietly seeking Emotional Intelligence Coaching for Impulse Control/Anger Management has risen exponitially in the last few years. Since Emotional Intelligence Coaching does not have any stigmas attached, it has no negatives. High profile clients who may consider counseling or psychotherapy or even anger
management as negative are more open to Emotional Intelligence Coaching.

 Coaching for self-control consists of the Bar On EQi Emotional Intelligence Assessment, The Practice of Control client workbook, DVDs as well as the popular Contrasting Wheels of Behavior.

Coaching can be scheduled live and via phone.

For more information on Civility Training, Anger Management and Emotional Intelligence Training for your small or large business, line staff and/or management, or to improve your personal or professional relationships please call the Anger Management Institute, LLC @ 510.393.0250

Wednesday, July 25, 2012

Amazon's Good Customer Service Creates A Win For The Customer



Customer service representatives are the front lines of a company's bottom line.  Having had a nice handful, recently, of positive experiences with Amazon’s customer service department, I would say they know something that many major corporations today do not.    It could be personal growth training's and/or solid salaries for the frontline service reps.  Whatever it is it works.  I'm sold on working with Amazon!   

 The magic of a healthy, well-treated, well-trained customer service person trickles down to the customer experience and makes for a win-win interchange.  Happy customer makes for a happy bottom line.

 Your small or large business can benefit from ongoing group civility and emotional intelligence training.  Training's for the frontlines and management is like pushing the refresh button of your most valuable resource and improving the bottom-line. 

Thursday, June 21, 2012

Behavior In The Workplace



 A client was recently referred to me by a company who really recognized the value of this employee.  The employee is highly productive however his workplace behavior was continually disruptive.  This employee's behavior affected the team members which in turn often affected other units within the company.  Behavior in the workplace IS part of the job.  

 Behavior should not be considered separate from the performance of task in the work environment.

  Clients such as the person sent to me respond well to civility training in a relatively short time.  Change can be realized in as little as 5 weeks.  The Anger Management Institute provides training for individuals as well as small groups.

If you have employee's whose behavior is affecting the workplace environment please call the Anger Management Institute.  The Anger Management Institute is an evidence based program with both a pre and post assessment.

Anger Management Institute, LLC 510.393.0250

Tuesday, May 1, 2012


Testimonial For Ms. Yacine Bell, Trainer for Anderson Services

Posted on May 1, 2012 by George Anderson
My name is Aaron Ferguson and I am a recent graduate of the Anderson & Anderson training program, it was inspirational. The depth of information for use in client situations was impressive. The training itself was a relaxed experience, our group was encouraging and supportive. Yacine Bell was our instructor and she is a truly amazing woman. Her ability to teach us the course curriculum was outstanding. Yacine also provided us with expert business advice on setting up our practice. George Anderson’s work books are everything I needed to confidently start my business. I have already booked my first speaking engagement for “The Investors Group” in Toronto, Canada. My confidence in the success of my business is unstoppable.
Aaron Ferguson CAMF;AAAMP
Director/Owner: Aaron and Associates Anger Management & Conflict Resolution
Member American Association of Anger Management Providers
Tel: 416.993.6077

To be trained as a facilitator in the Anderson Model of Anger Management or for anger management services please call the Anger Management Institute, LLC @ 510.393.0250

Wednesday, April 11, 2012

A Satisfied Client

Dear George Anderson,

You recently recommended Yacine Bell to provide anger/stress
management services for me when I called your office seeking
assistance. I wanted to extend my gratitude to you for the referral
and exclaim accolades regarding her performance.

As a teacher and guide Yacine has a delightful blend of professional
and personable attributes. Her direct yet nurturing demeanor provided
a safe environment through which to embrace awareness of issues I
struggle with and inspired a desire for immediate and sustained
change. After inspiring the hope and motivation for new living, she
collaborated with me to find individually appropriate tools through
which to begin living anew. She is a remarkable individual with
discernment and grace with whom it was easy to enter into a
therapeutic alliance. She has a clear commitment to seeing her
clients succeed and used her abundance of creativity and flexibility
to assist me in my progress. Through her affirmation she created a
sacred space for me to maintain and even increase my dignity while
working through areas in need of growth.

Through our work together Yacine helped me understand that I have been
unwittingly allowing stress to disrupt my professionalism and impede
my ease of living. Her partnership with me in understanding and
managing my stress has since redeemed my professionalism and returned
to me a peace that I hadn’t realized I’d been missing. I am ever
appreciative of the beauty of artistry in her talent.

Please accept my sincerest gratitude for your referral.

Sincerely,

E. W, M.A.
Doctor of Psychology Candidate
Fuller Theological Seminary
Graduate School of Psychology

If you or someone you know needs anger management please call: Yacine Bell at the Anger Management Institute, LLC
510.393.0250

Monday, March 26, 2012

Eat Your Peas First

When I was a kid I wasn't fond of vegetables. Especially peas. They were my nemesis and I hated them. I would spend huge amounts of time agonizing on having to eat them. While sitting at the table I spent time thinking about the best way to eat them and more time on how to secretly get rid of them. I would have mood swings and be difficult and say "But why do I have ta"?? On pea night I was often the lone diner well after everyone left the table On "pea night" I was always the last to leave the table.

Somewhere along the way I learned from "pea night" to just go ahead and eat them first. By eating my peas first I could enjoy my dinner and be more pleasant which in turn made things more pleasant for everyone else at the table. I could get "seconds" on the things that I did like ( benefit), and best of all I could have dessert and sometimes a little extra (huge benefit if you're 7) because I ate my peas like a "good girl" (which really meant without a bad attitude)!! I learned that I, not the peas created pressure for myself which in turn I created a bad mood and sometimes pressure on everyone else.

In the language of my field, I made the "peas" a stressor. A stressor can be positive or a negative event. The type of response we have to the stressor depends upon the reaction to the stressor. In my case I would self-talk myself into a tizzy because I really hated peas.

Eating your peas first has ended up being one of my tools and a philosophy I live by. Do the hardest first. The rest is probably a piece of cake. In fact what may be "the hardest" may be your self talk telling you that. Stress is not all in your head, but that is where it begins. Different individuals perceive stressors differently. For one person, an event may be viewed as a challenge; for another, it may be viewed as a severe threat or problem. Therefore, events do not cause stress, the ways we interpret and react to them do.

So, eat your peas first.

If you or someone you know needs anger or stress management please call the Director Yacine Bell at the Anger Mangement Institute, LLC. We are certified and an evidence based program with both a pre and post assessment. 510.393.0250

Tuesday, February 7, 2012

Acknowledgement Goes A long Way

Employers, managers and supervisors often forget to acknowledge the good work of employees. It's important to acknowledge the person or group of people who have done the task well. Some supervisors may feel that because an employee is getting paid to do a job that there is no need for sincere acknowledgement and recognition for a job well done. This couldn’t be further from the truth. People like to feel appreciated even when they are getting paid to do a job in the workplace.

An employee or team that gets acknowledgement and positive feedback continually produces at a high level and feels good about the work they do. In today’s fast-paced, high demand work environment, it’s easy for the “boss” to forget to acknowledge a job well done. High producing and happy employees is a win-win combination for any business.

Two easy and effective ways to give an employee or team positive acknowledgement are:

1. BE SPECIFIC

When acknowledging an employee or the team that has produced good work it's important to be specific. For example:

• Saying the person's name can mean a lot more to the individual or the individual team members than just saying "good work.”

• Mention what you thought was a good idea or some aspect of the work specifically.

2. SHOW INTEREST

•While it doesn't have to go into a lengthy conversation, ask a question that shows interest in their work such as: how did you come to that conclusion, strategy, method, fact, etc.?

In today’s competitive global marketplace where downsizing is the norm, the employee is pressured to keep productivity high with double the work. For many employees this translates into a stressful and unpleasant work environment where they feel their worth is being exploited. Employees fear they may lose their jobs and hold emotions in. Anger and Discontent can brew and may one day explode. The workplace culture suffers and so does the bottom line.

To get the most out of challenging dynamics in the workplace, making employees feel valued and appreciated goes far in creating productivity and good will. Show an interest in your employees work, give positive feedback and acknowledgement, be specific about your comments and know your employees names. These motivating strategies can make the difference between mediocre, good and excellent productivity. In turn the employee will want to continue to do good work because they know they are appreciated. Try it the next time you get a good product from your employees and feel the energetic difference that follows.

Yacine Bell CAMF;CPCC; Certified Mediator, VPS
Director of the Anger Management Institute, LLC
An Anderson & Anderson Anger Management Provider
510.393.0250

Wednesday, January 11, 2012

Topeka, Kansas City Council Considers Decriminalizing Domestic Violence To Save Money!!

I read this report by Marie Diamond and was a appauled at this story which I would like to pass on to you.

While I am not writing about anything we don't already know our country is currently faced with the worst budget crises since the Great Depression, states and cities have resorted to increasingly desperate measures to cut costs. State and local governments have laid off teachers, slashed Medicaid funding, and even started unpaving roads and turning off streetlights. I read an article recently in a local paper where people have been spotting more rats. The reason was given that the City cannot to afford to do routine extermination.

Perhaps the most shocking idea to save money that I have recently read is is being debated right now by the City Council of Topeka, Kansas. The city could repeal an ordinance banning domestic violence because some say the cost of prosecuting those cases is just too high:

Last night, in between approving city expenditures and other routine agenda items, the Topeka, Kansas City Council debated one rather controversial one: decriminalizing domestic violence. Nooooooooooooooooooo!

Here’s what happened: Last month, the Shawnee County District Attorney’s office, facing a 10% budget cut, announced that the county would no longer be prosecuting misdemeanors, including domestic violence cases, at the county level. Finding those cases suddenly dumped on the city and lacking resources of their own, the Topeka City Council is now considering repealing the part of the city code that bans domestic battery. [...]

Since the county stopped prosecuting the crimes on September 8th 2011, it has turned back 30 domestic violence cases. Sixteen people have been arrested for misdemeanor domestic battery and then released from the county jail after charges weren’t filed. “Letting abusive partners out of jail with no consequences puts victims in incredibly dangerous positions,” said Becky Dickinson of the YWCA. “The abuser will often become more violent in an attempt to regain control.” This is ABSOLUTELY not the answer. Domestic Violence offenders cannot be set free after beating, badgering and persecuting women, elderly, children, LGBTQ or any person. This isn't the wild west!!

The YMCA said that some survivors were afraid for their safety if the dispute wasn’t resolved soon. Town leaders and the district attorney all agree that domestic abuse cases should be prosecuted — but no one would step up to foot the bill. The city council is expected to make its decision on decriminalizing domestic violence next week, but the back-and-forth over funding has already put battered women and their families at increased risk of harm.

Domestic violence is still at epidemic levels in the United States, and too few cases are prosecuted as it is. According to the National Coalition Against Domestic Violence, one in four women will be a victim of domestic violence. Domestic abuse is a crime that damages entire communities, not just women. Witnessing violence between one’s parents is the strongest risk factor of transmitting violent behavior from one generation to the next: boys who witness domestic violence are twice as likely to abuse their own partner when they grow up.

Not prosecuting domestic violence cases is a Disatrous short term solution, and is an irresponsible consideration. By the way Domestic Violence has staggering financial consequences. The health-related costs of domestic violence exceeds $5.8 billion each year. Nearly $4.1 billion of that is for direct medical and mental health care services, and nearly $1.8 billion are for the indirect costs of lost productivity or wages. Victims lost almost 8 million days of paid work because of the violence.

It should go without saying, but apparently doesn’t, that preventing domestic abuse is essential to promoting communities’ economic and social well-being of everyone of all ages in all communities. That the Topeka City Council would even consider such action is a heartbreaking illustration of the consequences of austerity.

The number one killer of women is surprisingly not a disease. Did you know that Domestic Violence is the number one killer of women?

I hope that no council anywhere will ever make this same consideration as the folks in Topeka, Kansas.

If you or anyone you know needs or wants Domestic Violence Counseling please call Yacine Bell at the Anger Management Institute, LLC. 510.393.0250


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