Way.ca.tion: A rest for the mind; an unconventional method of escaping the moment and returning refreshed and better than before.

Saturday, November 26, 2011

Tips To Prevent Holiday Stress And Depression

By Mayo Clinic

When stress is at its peak, it's hard to stop and regroup. Try to prevent stress and depression in the first place, especially if the holidays have taken an emotional toll on you in the past.

1. Acknowledge your feelings. If someone close to you has recently died or you can't be with loved ones, realize that it's normal to feel sadness and grief. It's OK to take time to cry or express your feelings. You can't force yourself to be happy just because it's the holiday season.

2. Reach out. If you feel lonely or isolated, seek out community, religious or other social events. They can offer support and companionship. Volunteering your time to help others also is a good way to lift your spirits and broaden your friendships.

3. Be realistic. The holidays don't have to be perfect or just like last year. As families change and grow, traditions and rituals often change as well. Choose a few to hold on to, and be open to creating new ones. For example, if your adult children can't come to your house, find new ways to celebrate together, such as sharing pictures, emails or videotapes.

4. Set aside differences. Try to accept family members and friends as they are, even if they don't live up to all your expectations. Set aside grievances until a more appropriate time for discussion. And be understanding if others get upset or distressed when something goes awry. Chances are they're feeling the effects of holiday stress and depression too.

5. Stick to a budget. Before you go gift and food shopping, decide how much money you can afford to spend. Then stick to your budget. Don't try to buy happiness with an avalanche of gifts. Try these alternatives: Donate to a charity in someone's name, give homemade gifts or start a family gift exchange.

6. Plan ahead. Set aside specific days for shopping, baking, visiting friends and other activities. Plan your menus and then make your shopping list. That'll help prevent last-minute scrambling to buy forgotten ingredients. And make sure to line up help for party prep and cleanup.

7. Learn to say no. Saying yes when you should say no can leave you feeling resentful and overwhelmed. Friends and colleagues will understand if you can't participate in every project or activity. If it's not possible to say no when your boss asks you to work overtime, try to remove something else from your agenda to make up for the lost time.

8. Don't abandon healthy habits. Don't let the holidays become a free-for-all. Overindulgence only adds to your stress and guilt. Have a healthy snack before holiday parties so that you don't go overboard on sweets, cheese or drinks. Continue to get plenty of sleep and physical activity.

9. Take a breather. Make some time for yourself. Spending just 15 minutes alone, without distractions, may refresh you enough to handle everything you need to do. Take a walk at night and stargaze. Listen to soothing music. Find something that reduces stress by clearing your mind, slowing your breathing and restoring inner calm.
Seek professional help if you need it. Despite your best efforts, you may find yourself feeling persistently sad or anxious, plagued by physical complaints, unable to sleep, irritable and hopeless, and unable to face routine chores. If these feelings last for a while, talk to your doctor or a mental health professional.

Tuesday, November 8, 2011

Learn To Prevent Holiday Stress, Anger and Depression

Learn To Prevent Holiday Stress, Anger And Depression
Starts: December 3, 2011 9:00AM
Ends: December 3, 2011 12:00 PM
Event Type:Training/ Seminar
Location:Anger Management Institute
247 4th Street
Oakland, California 94607
Industry:Health, wellness, fitness, mental health
Keywords: anger management, stress management, emotional intelligence, empathy enhancement, communications
Intended For: This training is open to the general public however, HR Managers and people who work with others will gain enormously from this experience.

Yacine Bell will present an informative, engaging, interactive, and always humorous workshop. Yacine is a trained and certified Anderson and Anderson Provider and will use the internationally known and respected Anderson model as the foundation of her work in this seminar. Each participant will receive our popular Contrasting Wheels of Behavior that serves as a handy, pocket size reference for the "do’s and don'ts "of anger and stress management. Each participant will leave with a special "keep calm for the holiday kit," chock full of effective gifts to assist in keeping participants calm and focused.

The focus of this workshop will be on emotional intelligence skill enhancement for preventing holiday anger, stress and depression.
The workshop is held in a comfortable and relaxed setting which helps create a great working enviornment. Limited seating available so call today!

Anger Management Institute, LLC 510.393.0250


Thursday, November 3, 2011

The Power Of Words

The power of words mentioned below is part of my daily practice and part of my professional practice. A strong proponent of my practice is to bring people into the awareness of their personal Self-Talk. This is the inward conversation we have with ourselves that determines largely our behavior, accomplishments and relationships. Another proponent of my practice is teaching people assertive communication. This is the practice of being clear about telling others your thoughts and feelings in a direct and honest way without violating or stepping on your rights as a person or the rights of others. This outward conversation determines our behavior and relationships as well.

It took me time to realize how my words could affect or infect others.
Here are some tips to get those of you who want to shift towards a more fulfilling life...
For starters I challenge you to put a rubber band on your left hand and for the next 24 hours become aware of your judgments (to yourself and others). SNAP when you catch yourself judging (sorry I never encourage pain but in this case it is just for awareness).

How is what your judging a reflection of you? Is there some healing to be done there? Remember, people can push your buttons, BUT they didn’t install them!

I suggest you adopt some new behavior: The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz, might be a good start.

1.Be impeccable with your word (do what you say you are going to do, your word is your honor. Be good to your integrity)

2. Don’t take anything personally (what people say or do is only a projection of what they are going through, not your reality. You choose the experience you want to have)

3. Don’t make assumptions (people cannot read your mind, and vise-a-versa you are not a mind reader, always ask for what you want)

4. Always do your best (if you know you’ve done your best, the only judge can be you, allow yourself to feel complete)

Now go forth and prosper and ponder on this one thought “wish for others what you want in your life”, I promise your life will change. It’s a powerful secret.
Stay in touch.

The Anger Management Institute specializes in anger and stress management with competency in teaching you communication skills and emotional intelligence.

Want to change your life and relationships?

Call: Yacine Bell Director of the Anger Management Institute LLC 510.393.0250

Monday, October 31, 2011

Leaders Have High Emotional Intelligence (Including Self-Control)

By RICK NAUERT PHD Senior News Editor

Reviewed by John M. Grohol, Psy.D. on September 22, 2010

This is a excellent article and repost.

According to a new study, the ability to understand emotions is a key ingredient in people who become leaders in groups with no formal authority.

Researchers base their findings after two different studies on commerce students. Study participants were given an emotional ability test as part of the study, as well as a self-analysis of their emotional skills.

Then, they organized themselves into small groups or were randomly assigned to small groups and were given a group project to do.

At the end of the project they were asked to identify whom they thought had shown the greatest leadership.

Those identified by their peers as leaders scored high on the emotional ability test, which included tasks such as identifying emotions in faces in a photograph, and rating the effectiveness of different emotion regulation strategies.

People’s perceptions of their own emotional skills, however, did not predict leadership as reliably.

The study adds to evidence that emotional intelligence is a separate trait from other leadership qualities such as having cognitive intelligence and being cooperative, open to ideas, and conscientious.

“Traditionally we’ve had the assumption that leaders have high IQ, are gregarious individuals, or happen to be dominant personalities,” says researcher Stéphane Côté, a professor at the University of Toronto’s Rotman School of Management and one of four researchers involved with the study.

“But this shows it’s not just about these traditional factors,” says Prof. Côté.

“It’s also about being able to process other people’s emotions. Anybody who wants to pursue a position of leadership and power can benefit from these abilities.”

The study was published in the journal Leadership Quarterly .

The Anger Management Institute, LLC, works with many industry leaders, educational professionals, upper management, and civic and Government Leaders. We are specialist in the field of Emotional Intelligence. Our program is and evidence based program with a pre-and post assessment.

Call: Yacine Bell, Director of the Anger Management Institute, LLC for more information. 510.393.0250

Thursday, September 29, 2011

Can Someone Make You Angry?

Heck yeah!! People can say outrageously rude things and be ridiculously inappropriate to one another!

And, if you didn't get angry when a boundary has been severely crossed, I would have to wonder if you still had a pulse.
On the other hand angry feelings and angry actions are vastly different.

People often make the mistake of thinking angry feelings and angry actions are synonymous with hostility and aggression. They are vastly different. You have choices and options on what to do and how to be when you are made angry. The key to controlling anger is to develop competence in self-awareness, self-control, social awareness and relationship management.

Anger is a normal human emotion and should not be considered synonymous with hostility and aggression. You don't land in anger management for getting angry. You land in anger management or worse yet, in a hospital, lose your job or spouse because of the inappropriate expression of your anger which can range from inappropriate outburst, throwing objects or physical confrontation for an example.

The popular notion that someone else can trigger your anger into inappropriate behaviors is nonsense. It is a failure to not take responsibility for one's own behavior. Regardless of what happens in your life, you are always responsible for your action.

The key to controlling anger is to develop competent self-awareness, self-control, social awareness and relationship management.

In my anger management classes at the Anger Management Institute, I teach you how to enhance your skills and emotional intelligence so you can control your anger and lead a life where you are self-aware, have self-control, and develop or nurture positive relationships.

Need anger management? Having problems getting along with colleagues, friends, or co-workers? I'm sure I can help you.

Yacine Bell Director of the Anger Management Institute, LLC 510.393.0250


Monday, August 29, 2011

Court For Student Misbehavior? Crazy!!!

I read this article this morning about the "criminalization of student behavior". This basically translate to adolescents being sent through the court system for inappropriate behavior in school. Granted, adolescents are really acting out in ways that we have never seen before however letting the courts deal with school issues is not the answer.

In many states, including Texas, schools are increasingly sending misbehaving students to court instead of the principal’s office.

Critics call this practice “the criminalization of student discipline.”

According to a recent story in the Washington Post about Texas schools,”Six in 10 students were suspended or expelled at least once from seventh grade on. After their first suspension, they were nearly three times more likely to be involved in the juvenile justice system the next year, compared with students with no such disciplinary referrals.”

Anger management instituted in the school system is a better and more current process of discipline and learning than the antiquated use of suspension and expulsion. For me suspensions are a few days out of school to hang out and play video games and the thought of sending an adolescent to court should be reserved for extreme behaviors.

I have been monitoring the school systems that use anger management. I am currently writing a post for the third time about the California School district that successfully instituted anger management district wide. Over the past few years anger management has shown to be an enormous success. As a matter of fact in the first year of instituting the process the program proved to be an immediate success. To me that says the district matched the need with an ideal solution.

There may be some cases that warrant court intervention however there needs to be effective school alternatives instituted. Right now there is suspension on one end and court which I believe in many cases is too extreme and probably in the long run detrimental. Somewhere between these two options of discipline I believe is a more effective and appropriate solution with a greater long term yield for positive adolescent growth. Sending adolescents to court for school offenses may just possibly be breeding a new type of young adult that just might be a hybrid we will eventually regret. School districts need to seriously look into providing anger management in the school system. Those schools that have instituted anger management are experiencing very positive results.

If you or someone you know needs anger management please call: Yacine Bell, director of the Anger Management Institute, LLC, 510.393.0250

Friday, August 26, 2011

Anger Management Classes In the Public Schools

Oakland Unified School District needs to try offering anger management on an experimental basis. Since anger management is considered education, the school does not lose its daily student allowance. Anger Management is a far better and more current response to poor behavior than the antiquated use of suspensions and expulsions. There just isn't any learning nor behavior change for today's adolescent by suspending them. Suspension is just a few days out of school to play video games and hang out!!

School age kids are under continual pressure. I believe that the media, peers, parents dreams and expectations contribute to the behavior patterns and violence that I am experiencing with my adolescent clients. Considering that the 150 year tradition of expulsion and suspension is still the way today's students are held accountable for inappropiate behavior, instituiting anger management is, to some degree, out of the box thinking. Once effective diciplinary tools, expulsion and suspension are ineffective with 21st century adolescents and teens. Anger management is proving to be far more effective and current in addressing today's adolecents' inappropriate behavior.

Everyone gets angry from time to time. It's how they handle the anger that makes the difference. Many school age adolescents simply haven't learned or do not have conflict resolution skills or anger management tools. Anger management classes teach these tools and improves behavior. The Oakland Unified School System needs to take a look at other school district's processes for anger management.

The Merced School District in California has instituted an anger management program required for youths who get in trouble. This effective program is proving to be enormously successful effective. Kelly Bentz, a Merced Union High School program, adminstrator, found the current anger and behavior issues in the district chronic among adolescents and describes that anger and violence as not just a school issue; but a community issue as well.

In the 2009-10 school year, 427 students in Central California, Atwater, Buhare Colony, Golden Valley, Merced, Livingston, Sequoia and Yosemite high Schools were referred to anger management classes. Although of these incidents were fights that occurred off campus, however the behavior did not exempt the students from having to take at least 10 sessions of anger management.

Offering anger management in the Central California High Schools is relatively new, yet it is clear to officials that they have hit upon an immediate success with the 75 minute anger management classes. Yer Xiong, the district's children and youth liaison, started facilitating anger management groups at campuses in the district a few years ago. In Xiong’s observations "generally students don't know what else to do to resolve anger so they fight" without thinking of the consequences.

I have said this many times and will continue.

The Anger Management Institute provides an excellent anger management curriculum for adolescents and adults privately and in groups. If you or someone you know needs help with adolescent anger management please call: Yacine Bell @ 510.393.0250

Wednesday, August 24, 2011

Anger Management Institute's New Services

Stress and anger are identified as two principal factors that proceed acts of agression towards another person. The Anger Management Institute believes that any entering client can be taught to recognize and manage these two contributing factors which are roadblocks to positive interpersonal relationships. If you or someone you know has an anger issue the Anger Managment Institute, LLC can provide you with the help you need. We specialize in employer ordered, court ordered, and self referred clients. We are an evidenced based practice with both a pre-and post assessment tool to accurately measure a clients growth.

Our facilitators provide services in Spanish, English, Manderin and Cantonese.

Please call today for a free consultation.

Anger Management Institute, LLC 510.393.0250

Tuesday, April 26, 2011

Anger Management Institute Provides Evidence Based Program

The Anger Management Institute is an evidence base practice with a pre and post test to determine the degree of growth and progress with each client. AMI now has a study that shows the results of Pre and Post Tests using the Conover Assessment with 200 randomly selected clients. A summary of this study is listed below:

This study utilizes the before and after averages using the Conover Assessment Examination which measures the following parameters:

1) Interpersonal Assertion: How good or comfortable the individual feels about telling others about their thoughts, feelings and behaviors in dealing with others.

Average pre-training score: 3.03; Average post-training score: 5.30 (74.91% increase)

2) Empathy: How the individual views their current skill and ability to sense, understand and accept another person’s thoughts, feelings and behaviors.

Average pre-training score: 4.38 Average post-training score: 5.35 (22.14 % increase)

3) Stress Management: Shows the individual’s skill in managing stress and worry.

Average pre-training score: 3.97 Average post-training score: 5.05 (27.20% increase)

4) Aggression: The amount to which an individual uses a communications style that violates or offends or takes away another’s rights, thoughts or feelings.

Average pre-training score: 2.82 Average post-training score: 0.62 (78.01% decrease)

5) Interpersonal Deference: A measurement of the degree to which an individual uses a personal communication style that tends to yield or give in to someone else, lets others have their way or gives their rights to others.

Average pre-training score: 2.61 Average post-training score: 1.71 (34.48% decrease)

6) No measurement of an individual’s motivation was included in this study. It is recognized however that the greater the motivation the more likely the individual will be successful in achieving success.

Conclusion: From these findings it would appear that this Anger Management Program is very effective in increasing assertive skills, empathy, stress management and decreasing aggression and deference. These results are in no way a guarantee that any specific individual will respond the same way; however, they are a good indication that, on average, most individuals with anger issues will have a positive outcome from taking an anger management program taught by a Certified Anger Management Provider using the Anderson & Anderson model.

If you or someone you know has anger issue or if your company is experiencing incivility issues or have problematic employees please feel free to call Yacine Bell at the Anger Management Institute @510.393.0250

Tuesday, March 29, 2011

Anger Management Training

Anger Management Institute of Oakland, CA.
How does anger undermine your success?

Managers, end inefficiency and conflict among your staff. Parents, stop yelling at your kids. Partners, resolve disagreements and strengthen relationships. Improve your response to stress and anger now. You can manage anger, successfully achieve professional and personal goals, and increase the opportunity for a productive and healthy life.

Individual and group anger management
An Anderson & Anderson Certified Anger Management Provider of assessments and training for court-ordered referrals.
Organizational training for businesses.
Accelerated Anger Management classes for managers, executives, and staff.
Call Yacine Bell today at the Anger Management Institute > 510.393.0250

Tuesday, March 8, 2011

A Few Ideas for Treatment of Your Anger

Are you looking for treatment options for your anger management issue?

A qualified anger and stress management specialist is always best. You have to be specifically trained to provide anger management with great permanent results. Therapists are usually not efficient as providers of anger management. The good news is that anger management is a normal human emotion and if you have anger issues it is not considered an illness or a mental disorder. Further good news is that you're not "crazy" or "broken" regardless to what anyone says about your behavior when an anger outburst occurs. Anger Management issues is actually bad behavior.

It isn't easy to manage your anger without trained support if you really are prone to bad episodes of acting out. Surprisingly, if you are just a little disciplined and committed to changing you can actually personally start the work yourself.
Reading books is always a great start. Volunteer work is always good because it can take you out of your world and can provide a huge fresh perspective. Forgiving and letting go are probably two of the great antidotes for people with anger issues. I am also an advocate of Yoga classes, Tai Chi, hobbies, or doing something that you love is also great along with trying something new. All the above are incredible strategies for learning to manage anger on your own.

While the above examples are not the complete answer the above suggestions are wonderfully effective as a way to get started with managing your anger. Please feel free to call Yacine Bell at the Anger Management Institute for a free consultation regarding your concerns or to enroll in anger management. The Anger Management Institute specializes in anger, stress, communication and emotional intelligence.

Looking forward to our conversation.

Monday, February 14, 2011

Inexpensive Ways To Manage Anger

Yesterday I had a lengthy conversation with a person who i shared inexpensive ways to begin working on anger management. I have a lot of suggestions however here are only a few:

Outlets are important. Anger is a secondary emotion meaning that something always precedes it. Currently, most new clients enrolling in AM are having anger breakdowns that are precipitated by stress. Stress from not working or over working for an example. The best cure for stress related anger is to have outlets. Physical activities, reading, dancing, cooking classes whatever a person regards as fun. Fun by the way is considered by most Americans as an "extra" in their life when in fact fun is an actual physiological necessity and natural medicine for good health.

Taking breaks can be very good. If you feel yourself getting stressed. Get up, take a walk, or go watch a movie. Simply remove yourself from what is starting to frustrate you and get a fresh perspective. You can leave and return as often as you need until you get a hold of the stress. Remember stress is not all in your head however that is where it gains its momentum.

Good music in the car during traffic is great. No rock or rap as both styles of music exacerbate the frustration of traffic. Try nice, melodic sing alongs like the Temptations or Simon and Garfunkle.

Reduce radio, TV and Internet news by 60 percent. Constantly having your ear to the news is stress relating and actually statistics have shown a huge number of minor to major incidents are caused by being consumed by death, pestilence, disease and the Dow/stock market. Never set your alarm to the news to wake you up.

If you or someone you know is experiencing issues of anger or stress please do not hesitate to call:

Anger Management Institute, LLC 510.393.0250

Tuesday, February 8, 2011

No Fail Indicators of Having an Anger Issue

There are five signs that are unmistakable indicators that one has an anger issue. These are no fail.

1. When anger is too frequent
2. When anger is too intense.
3. When anger lasts too long.
4. When anger leads to aggression
5. When anger destroys work or personal relationships.

If you or someone you know is experiencing any of the above please do not hesitate to call:Anger Management Institute, LLC 510.393.0250

Friday, February 4, 2011

About Anger Management

What is the process for finding anger triggers?

I am an evidence-based Anger Management program. I use an evidence-based assessment with both a pre and post component. The assessment I use allows me to know what a persons triggers are and is 100% reliable. An assessment is not necessarily the only route in finding a persons triggers, however using an assessment component is the fastest and most efficient way to find a clients triggers. Using an assessment component for all entering clients allows me to customize and specialize my practice of anger management for each individual client.

An assessment component is like having a map that tells me on day one where I need to go with a client. A genuinely qualified Anger Management provider uses an assessment component. I often tell people that if you live in SF and you have to go to San Diego you can pretty well get to your destination because SD is simply "down" from SF. You can get there even though you will probably have to stop a few times without a map or directions. However, if you have a GPS system and/or a map, you can get to San Diego quickly and efficiently with few to no stops and in less time with no mistakes. Because I have an assessment as a personal map for each client, from day one I can immediately identify trigger's and the healing work can begin literally in the first meeting.

Triggers without an assessment can be found; however it will probably take several weeks to grasp what is going on with the client. After several weeks working with me in my practice, a client is well on the way to greater control and management skills. I believe that people should get back to the business of living and loving their lives without the debilitating behavior of uncontrollable anger, so I opt for the quickest and most efficient way to move people forward.

For more information please call the Anger Management institute: 510.393.0250