Way.ca.tion: A rest for the mind; an unconventional method of escaping the moment and returning refreshed and better than before.

Thursday, June 30, 2016

People Skills Are Paramount For Leaders

Managing conflict is a key part of managing a department. As a person moves up in a company I believe "people skills" are paramount.

Recently, I had an incident at LAX where I was treated rudely by a ground agent.  As I sat and waited for my turn I was able to see that the few travelers before me had caused the ground agent a good deal of stress.   Stress can be a pre-cursor to anger and by time it was my turn to be served the ground agent was short and terse with me to say the least.

The ground agent said enough inappropriate things to me where I could have easily been baited into an argument however I never took the bait.  I ask for a Supervisor.

The Supervisor came over to mediate the situation between the ground agent and myself.  The Supervisor listened attentively, gave each of us the space to speak then said to the ground agent to put me through immediately and then wished me a safe journey.  Problem solved.

A key part of managing conflict and difficult situations requires skill in problem-solving, stress tolerance, active listening, empathy and emotional expression.  This supervisor exhibited all of these skills and the ground agent exhibited none. 

We live in a different world where inappropriate behavior happens any place and anytime the trend is worsening everyday.  For businesses especially businesses whose front-line is to serve the public there is a need to train staff and hire with an eye for "high people skills". 

Yacine Bell, Anger Management Institute, LLC specialist in impulse control and "people skills".

The Advantages of An Assessment Tool

   The assessment tool I use is like a GPS System except for behavior.  A Behavior GPS System if you will!  Essentially, an EQ assessment identifies a persons level of functioning in their environment and the world at large.  The assessment profile of a client is an accurate view of their ‘people skills including’  their strengths and challenges in interpersonal and intra personal relationships.  Using an assessment is a great tool and a solid predictor of success; takes the guess work out of helping a client move forward; and allows me to offer a highly customized process.
I often tell a potential client that a person really adept at behavior management and impulse control will eventually come to know what I know however it may take them as much as 6 or 7 weeks to come to know what I know on day 1 of working with a new client.

 Having the assessment allows me to understand what is going on with a person specifically. This accurate assessment assist me to identify and create a course of action specifically on the issues which thereby allows me to help manage and improve behavior quickly and thoroughly.

The Anger management Institute is an evidence based process with a pre-and post assessment.  The process is relatively quick and thorough with excellent results.

Anger management Institute, LLC specializing in "people skills" and impulse control.

Friday, June 24, 2016

A Look At Doing The Job And Work Styles

Good work cannot be limited to just doing the job. Sounds strange because that's what an employer wants right?

  I have a client who is brilliant at his job however he is rather like a bad virus that infects his unit as a result of his bad temperament. No one really wants to work with him.  John is exceptionally qualified to be a project lead however he's always passed over for team leader positions.  John is chosen for projects (because he's going to do his job) although he is most often chosen last or by default because there is so much emotional territory that come with working with him.

Why last to be chosen and/or by default if he's good??  John lacks interpersonal skills, low impulse control,and poor empathy.  This combination of behavior's creates a personality with a work style that is a challenge to work with even though he does the actual assignments well.

My client John is working on his emotional intelligence with emphasis on his temperament and interpersonal skills because he wants to be considered for leadership positions in a company and because he wants friendlier workplace relationships.  What we are doing now is working on the style at which he does his job and his emotional intelligence.

What John knows now is what employers should be more aware of when hiring prospective employees and that is that interpersonal skills, resourcefulness, creativity and empathy should be as much of a consideration as ability.

John is once again looking for a new job as he wasn't rehired however I am hopeful that whoever hires John will consider his ability to do the job and the style at which he completes his work!

Anger Management Institute, and emotional intelligence based practice 510.393.0250

Anger Management Is Not Domestic Violence They Are Different

I am certified to practice both Domestic Violence and Anger Management Intervention.  As National President Emeritus of the American Association of Anger Management Providers, I have been ask my opinion and thoughts on the latest events of Domestic Violence as it relates to the NFL.  I realized from all these questions that many people are not clear of the difference between Domestic Violence and Anger Management. My mentor has written the best explanation of both Domestic Violence and Anger Management which I would like to share.

In the NFL and indeed throughout the world, there is confusion among professionals, the Judicial System and the general public regarding the difference between anger management and domestic violence intervention for perpetrators. In California, Penal Code 1203.097 defines domestic violence as violence that occurs in an intimate relationship. The relationship can be gay, lesbian or heterosexual. However, it is violence in an intimate relationship. This law further determines that acceptable intervention is not anger management but rather batterer’s intervention with the primary goal of teaching equality in male-female relationships that represents 98% of all cases. Anger is not seen as a necessary factor in battering relationships.
The real issue in domestic violence is power and control on the part of the perpetrator. Anger is not a prerequisite for abuse. The perpetrator will abuse whenever his control is threatened. Rarely is the perpetrator out of control.
There are no legal definitions of anger or anger management anywhere in the United States. In fact, anger is not considered an abnormal or pathological condition. Anger is considered a normal human emotion. It is therefore not listed in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental & Nervous Disorders. Nor is the treatment or intervention for anger management covered or reimbursed by insurance companies.
Anger is considered a problem when it is hurtful to you or someone else, when it lasts too long, is too frequent, is too intense or leads to person or property directed violence. Increasing, since 9/11, the inappropriate public display of anger has become epidemic. The Criminal Justice system is overwhelmed with cases related to simple battery, threats, workplace violence, road rage, computer rage and implied or actual threats.
Anger is a secondary emotion, which often follows fear, depression, stress, fatigue or a perceived threat or personal, attach on one’s person-hood. The situation that causes the anger is not the problem; the unhealthy response or violence that may follow is the problem.
Successful anger management programs assess at intake for relative competence in four areas: emotional intelligence, stress management, anger management and communication. The coaching or classes are designed to teach skills in self-awareness, self-control, social awareness and relationship management using a number of approaches including client workbooks, role -play, videos, lectures, experiential exercises and real life practices. All clients are required to complete a Pre and Post Emotional Intelligence Assessment that is designed to provide a baseline of the clients skills as well as to determine the success or lack of success of the coaching or classes.
In contrast, domestic violence batterer’s programs focus on male socialization, female socialization, and substance abuse, child abuse, and sexual abuse, male dominance and the impact of family violence on children.
Unfortunately, most batterer’s programs in the U.S. use the outdated Duluth Domestic Violence Intervention Curriculum. This curriculum is in English only and is based on consistent, direct, frequent, intense confrontation of defenses. These interventions may unwittingly increase rather than decrease resistance and defensiveness and may reinforce the belief that relationships are based on coercive influence. Therefore, such programs have no demonstrated value for any population. Rather, they are an insult to people of color or persons whose primary language is not English. Confrontation or shame is culturally inappropriate for persons of Asian descent.

This was written by the Guru of Anger Management, George Anderson

For more information call: Anger Management Institute, LLC 510.393.0250 specializing in Emotional Intelligence and Emotional Intelligence based Anger Management.