Eight More Day’s till Christmas……..

Self Quiz

Are You Too Busy? How Can You Tell?

Although it may not always seem so, how we fill and spend our time is our choice. Answer the following questions to discover if you're caught up in the "too-busy" cycle.

True | False
TrueFalse	1. I constantly find myself doing "urgent" things and trying to catch up.
TrueFalse	2. I allow myself to drift into obligations before I know how much time or energy they'll require.
TrueFalse	3. I find myself running from when I get up in the morning until I go to bed at night. I'm always tired and never feel that I accomplished enough.
TrueFalse	4. I seldom schedule a day off for myself and when I do, I tend to fill it with activities.
TrueFalse	5. I don't make time for self-care: physical exercise, nurturing or pampering myself, cultural stimulation, spiritual well-being, learning something new, playing or simply doing nothing.
TrueFalse	6. I seldom have time to do the things I really love. My work and project areas are cluttered with "I'll look at this later" stacks and "to-do" piles.
TrueFalse	7. I often miscalculate how long activities will take.
TrueFalse	8. I often miss deadlines or work long hours to meet a deadline.
TrueFalse	9. I respond to interruptions such as phone calls, text messages and email, and allow them to take me off track.
TrueFalse	10. I try to keep things in my head rather than making lists. If I do make a daily "to-do" list, it's impossible to complete in a day.
TrueFalse	11. I tend to move from one urgent thing to the next, rather than working toward specific goals and objectives.
TrueFalse	12. I find myself constantly wishing I had more time or projecting an imaginary future when I have more time, making comments such as "as soon as..." or "next year..."
TrueFalse	13. I spend time running errands and rushing because I didn't plan well enough.
TrueFalse	14. I spend time doing things I could pay someone else to do.
TrueFalse	15. I often do things because I "should," or continue to do things that no longer fit who I am.
TrueFalse	16. Other people complain that my schedule doesn't allow enough time for them.

If you answered "true" to many of these questions and would like to explore ways to slow down your life, please don't hesitate to call: 510.393.0250

Ahh rump-pa-pomp-pomp......

Nine More Day’s till Christmas

Make up a survival kit and give it as a gift. I’m telling you this is the coolest gift ever to give to a teacher or co-worker. SERIOUSLY!! Can you imagine how grateful a teacher would be if you gave them all the contents of the survival kit?

Put yourself in your daughter or son’s third grade teacher’s shoes. Imagine having 20 sweet little darling’s all-day-long!!!

You really can’t go wrong with the price point of the gift either. I know if someone had gifted me “calm in a basket” when I had all the little ones I would have been incredibly appreciative.

Co-workers and Secret Santa’s forget the hype gifts and give the gift of "calm". It is wonderfully thoughtful, easily done and super cost effective.

First you’ll need to purchase if you don’t already have a bag to hold the contents. You probably have something already and if you don’t want to spend any money on a bag just get a baggy.

What to put in the bag? A really good brand of:
      Chamomile tea
      Peppermint tea
      Celestial Seasons mood mender

Mix the teas up. However if you just choose one type of the teas you’ll be just fine.

You can add Vitamin C 1000 milligram packets in a box and some Airborne.

This completes the stress survival kit. If you want to, add one of those cool teapots or a cup and if you have a few extra bucks buy them some Bach’s Rescue Remedy (calm in a bottle). Not necessary just extra’s.

You can thank me later!

Falalalala…….

A KIT FOR THE HOLIDAYS. . . .AND BEYOND

Between the holidays and end of the year deadlines, the last three months of the year can generate an incredible increase in stress. I’ve given a stress reduction kit to clients as a gift that I recommend keeping at work, home and in the car. While the kit isn’t the complete answer to the revved-up tensions that happen during the holidays, it sure helps.

The point of this Survival Kit is to control the anxiety and tension that comes from all that money you’re spending, long lines and crowded streets the holidays can bring. I love everything I’m recommending. The key is not just putting the kit together but giving it a try. Trust me, being prepared will make a very big difference.

Find a nice bag (a baggie if you have to).

Then add in an assortment of teas. NOTHING WITH CAFFEINE! Use good Chamomile or Peppermint tea… I like tea by Celestial Seasoning called Mood Mender. I like to mix up the teas but if you choose just one for your Survival Kit, that’s okay.

These calming, herbal teas became my “little friends” during intense meetings. I first started drinking these teas when I worked in Corporate America some years ago. I quickly discovered that there are times to drink coffee and times to drink soothing herbal teas, and knowing these times became part of my survival.

Next, get yourself some vitamin C 1000 milligram packets that come in a box and can be purchased at any store. Not only will it help to stave off a cold, but one packet diluted in water will give you much-needed energy. Don’t forget to keep Airborne at home and the office.

Of course, you’ll need a hot and cold cup and, since most people, these days carry around bottled water, add one to two packets of “C” or water in your cup. Cheers!

Don’t live without Bach’s Rescue Remedy in your life from this point forward.
Rescue Remedy is great during stressful times. It’s calm in a bottle; a tasteless herbal concoction that’s one of the great inventions of modern times. It only takes a few drops in your water bottle or under your tongue and voila! What looked like an insurmountable obstacle becomes a very manageable challenge. I should own stock in this stuff. I simply love it!! When taken during demanding times it has a re-centering and calm effect.

Lastly, folks, though it won’t fit in your bag. Do what I call “stepping out of the ring.” I know you want to work through lunch because you “just want to get the job done,” and sometimes you must, however, commit to stepping out of the ring of intense energy by walking, or any other physical exercise, 3 times a week at lunch.

By using the tricks in your Survival Bag, not only will you find yourself calmer during these crazy times, but you’ll be able to enjoy them.

Peace on Earth……

A Few Commonly Asked Questions

I get a lot of response to the work I do. It never fails than whenever someone finds out what I do for a living, I am asked for a card and always people will say, "as a matter of fact, give me a few, I know a few people who can use anger management".

My work seems to create a good deal of fascination, humor and loads and loads of questions. The following are three questions I am often asked:
1. How can you stand doing this?
2. Are you ever afraid and who are your clients?
3. How did you get into this line of work ?

1. I love doing the work that I do. As a matter of fact I would even venture to say, the more abrasive and unruly the client the greater the challenge and the deeper I dig my heels in to find the best tools and deepest levels of compassion to move that person forward. I am perfectly suited in temperament, as a listener and as a person who loves to watch the unfoldment of change.

2. Never been afraid. My particular choice is working with smart people who have abrasive behavior that affects their life and the lives of others by this bad behavior. This is why I love doing employer ordered work. While I work with all types of clients, employer ordered clients with abrasive behavior present a particular challenge. One in which I must facilitate change in a relatively short time that is permanent. Because I have a gift for problem solving, a deep desire to see people happier in their lives and a plethora of tools and skills honed over a long period of time I am able to find the source and the key to moving the client forward within the first meeting. Change more often than not begins in the first session because my client feels understood on an important level. To be seen and acknowledged on a deeply personal level can really jump start the healing process in our initial session.

3. I have been the problem solver among friends and family for as long as I can remember. When I got older and started to travel I discovered that every culture has a "village problem solver". It is a respected and necessary skill to all cultures to have a person to come to who can heal relationships, facilitate growth and create cohesiveness for the good of all. When I would visit various cultures unbeknown to me I was gathering and adapting many ideas for effective problem-solving and growth. Later I studied anger, stress, communication and emotional intelligence. All of these subjects are key to working with angry people.

In 2003 maybe 2004, I studied and began to be mentored by the guru of anger management, George Anderson. It was then my accumulated skill base and his mentoring all melded together.

Why do I do what I do? Because I love it!

How to Deal With An Angry Boss

The right communications skills can be the antidote to a toxic boss. The bad news is if you haven't learned them then an argument is certain to ensue. The good news is good communication skills can be learned. Communication skills can place you and the angry boss into what I call productive dialogue and a little strategy can offset and diffuse a potentially very bad situation.


The boss that comes in and yells is unequivocally inappropriate however a one time incident has a different set of symptoms/results than a boss that does this behavior all the time. A boss that is prone to inappropriate behavior definitely has one of the issues of communications, emotional intelligence or stress and should get help.

Having said that my answer to the question is to excuse yourself to the restroom! I know this seems random however I have divorcing clients in court do it all the time. It is the only thing a person won't say "no" too. That time away allows you to collect yourself. Most people have to step out of the ring as it is very easy to go right into defending oneself however if you can do this without the "bathroom trick", then by all means do so. Just know that it takes two to argue and stepping out of the ring for a moment will allow you to comeback and diffuse. Once you return ask your boss into an office with a closed door to finish the discussion. Or if you have the presence of mind to stay in the ring you can go to the final step.

Here is where you close in for the kill-offer your boss what he wants while presenting him with a neutral factual way to get there-by treating you better!

"I want to give you everything that you want in the future. At the same time, I find it difficult to do that when I am being criticized. It makes it harder for me to do my best. Where could we go from here?"

Now you are in productive dialogue and can start negotiating a win-win solution as an adult. This can help facilitate change without putting your boss on the defensive. Use facts by saying "share with me your performance expectations" or " talk to me before criticizing my work". Remember stay away from provocative language such as " what a jerk" or "what dummy calls employees out"?