A Little About The Anger Management Process

The thought of coming to anger management is a lot scarier than being in the actual process.  Most people really don’t know what to expect which is one of the reasons why I spend so much time in the initial telephone consultation.  A lot has to happen during this first conversation. First and foremost, I have to get the client to relax and allay any fears around the process. Usually, a person has lived with their “out of control" anger issue for years. There is often embarrassment, shame and even feelings of inadequacy for not being able to manage their anger themselves.

 The initial conversation is a time of discovery for both the client and myself.  I ask the client a lot of open-ended questions.  Good questions reveal a lot for both client and counselor. The first call is more of a conversation, where most importantly, I am looking for a connection between the prospective client and me.  A mutual connection suggests the process will move forward fluidly.  However, having no strong initial connection during the first conversation does not necessarily translate into a problem. Yet a common meeting ground needs to be attained between the client and me before beginning the anger management process.

The fact is that anger is one of eight normal human emotions. We are all wired for it. It is perfectly fine and healthy to get angry. Anger enables us to protect and defend what belongs to us. Anger becomes a  problem when it becomes inappropriate. Of all the normal human emotions anger is the most overused and misused.   My job is to teach new ways of behaving when angry that is compatible with the client’s innate sensibilities. 

Anger Management Institute, An Emotional Intelligence based Anger management 510.393.0250