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Monday, August 20, 2012
Taking a Time Out
There are a few different references as to who coined the concept of "time out". The story that resonates for me is that a psychologist invented "time out" as a means to gather oneself and or re-center. Over time "time-out" became a negative and a punishment.
When angry or stressed "time-out" is a great tool. The technique of "time out" or to "gather oneself" works almost immediately. Along with helping deescalate a situation it is an important tool in dis-engaging so that you don't say or do something that is damaging.
"Time-Out provides an opportunity to think through what is happening. Once removed from the situation it is possible to consider other ways to solve an issue in a manner that is not violent in words or actions. "Time Out" doesn't mean walk away from the situation. It means to disengage and then reengage later. If you decide to leave for some amount of time say, twenty minutes to an hour honor your word and comeback when promised. That will help build trust. When sufficiently cooled down then reengage however just know if things start to escalate "Time-Out again. Sometimes it takes a few attempts to solve an issue. A "Time-Out" is a much better choice than saying something that may live in the mind of your loved one, colleague or peer long after the disagreement has passed.
If anger is an issue and is affecting workplace or personal relationships then anger management or Emotional Intelligence Coaching is the solution. Anger is a very solvable issue. You only have to want to do the work.
Anger Management Institute, LLC 510.393.0250