Saying "No" Creates Room For "Yes"!

I have a client who is a  really talented commediane. This guy is funny, creative and a doer however  my client is angry and doesn't understand why he isn't where he wants to be. He further laments that other less talented people are making greater strides forward than himself.   His lack of strides forward has deeply affected his self-confidence level which in turn makes him angry and stressed. I see part of his issues as a lack of focus on priorities and the inability to say "no"!

 Ryan is so talented and a doer that when he comes up with a new idea he stops what he is doing to go down the new track.  His thinking is to do/take everything and anything and something will work out towards the goal.  However everytime he says, "yes" to a new idea or proposal Ryan loses focus.  All these "yes's" take energy and time away from the ultimate goal.  He's angry because while he's accomplished loads of cool things much of his movement is lateral and not forward towards the goal. Consequently, he feels bad about himself and angry with the world about where he finds himself at this stage of his career.  The issue of a lack of focus and too many "yes's" will always delay the dream and undermine wellbeing.

Today we worked on learning to say "no" to somethings so that he can focus and create room, time and energy towards what it is that really matters to him.

Here’s a word of wisdom from Steve Jobs for you to ponder:

“People think focus means saying yes to the thing you’ve got to focus on. But that’s not what it means at all. It means saying no to the hundred other good ideas that there are. You have to pick carefully. I’m actually as proud of the things we haven’t done as the things I have done. Innovation is saying no to 1,000 things.”

Certainly experiment however choose carefully. See how it links to the ultimate destination.

Bar-On 2.0 Pre & Post-Evidence Based Assessment

 All programs at the Anger Management Institute, begin with the Bar-On 2.0 assessment. This highly effective assessment tool accurately indicates an individual's behavioral performance and skills in a number of significant areas. The Bar-On 2.0 is and Emotional Intelligence (EI) based assessment tool. Emotional Intelligence is a unique repertoire of emotional skills that a person uses to navigate the everyday challenges of life.

Research has demonstrated that an individual's EI or (EQ) is often a more accurate predictor of success than the individual's IQ. Regardless to how intellectually intelligent someone is. their success is still governed by how well they communicate their ideas and interact with their peers.  Bar-On 2.0 identifies an array of emotional and social capabilities, competencies, and skills that influence one's ability to succeed in coping with environmental demands and pressures while developing and maintain relationships.

Based on results from numerous statistical analyses, users of the EQ-i 2.0 can be confident that the scores generated by this assessment will be consistent and reliable. Results also revealed that the EQ-i 2.0 very accurately measures emotional intelligence, related concepts, and relevant outcomes. 

From the results of this assessment, l maps out a personal and professional profile on several performance levels. Cost-effective and time-saving, this tool protects your company’s investment in employees and managers. Using the results of the assessment, I am able to address behavioral/performance challenges from day one of my work with the client. The Bar-On 2.0 Assessment also includes a post-assessment that measures the degree of change achieved.

“This tool sets me apart from all other providers of anger management/impulse control and professional development coaching because of its accuracy in determining the issues.  While a person can only change and or improve their behavior or performance if they are committed my results have always shown significant positive improvement..”

– Yacine Bell

Five Qualities of A Good Leader

I read a great article today about the qualities of a great leader. These qualities are the same for the cheerleading coach as they are for the CEO of a company.  While the author sighted 11 qualities I will site/post the first 5 and the others in another post. 

What you will discover is that all of the qualities necessary for a great leader have less to do with IQ and everything to do with EQ or Emotional Intelligence also called "people skills"!

1. Great Leaders are good decision-makers and take responsibility for their choices and actions.

2. Great  Leaders have a plan and are committed, flexible and focused on the big picture. Sometimes the journey towards the big picture holds surprises and challenges not anticipated so flexibility is necessary so that shifts in the plan are creative forces and not problems.

3. Great Leaders are focused on the big picture but not exclusively to the point where they lose sight of the day today. Also, great leaders use their past lessons where appropriate as knowledge.

4. Good Leaders are emotionally self-aware and use this competency as a filter to know what is important and what is not.

5. Good leaders have ethics

A smart candidate from a good school use to be the desired person in leadership positions. More and more I am being hired by companies that are catching up to the fact that being smart has advantages however a leader needs good people skills. A leader needs to have the ability to move people cooperatively and confidently in a productive and emotionally intelligent way.

The Anger Management Institute, an Emotional Intelligence based practice teaching EQ and impulse control to leaders. 510.393.0250

Managers Need People Skills

The fact of the matter is that people who are in charge of managing others need to be chosen for a managerial position because they are emotionally intelligent with high people skills. All to often people are moved "up the ladder" because they did the job well when in fact the higher "up the ladder" the greater the people skills need to be.

 One skill paramount in managing others is empathy. The greater the empathy the better a difficult situation is potentially is handled.

Really simple.

Anger Management Institute and emotionally intelligent based practice. 510.393.0250

Professional Coaching For Impulse Control

As a certified specialist in anger management and professional coach for workplace behavior and performance I use a Pre and Post Emotional Intelligence Assessments. As a result of this exceptional tool I am experiencing a dramatic increase in self-referrals for skill enhancement coaching for “impulse control”. 

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SELF-REFERRALS TO EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE FOR IMPULSE CONTROL AND PROFESSIONAL COACHING IS MORE POPULAR THAN ANGER MANAGEMENT