Workplace Stress Is A Workplace Disaster

Some people are calling Steven Slater, a flight attendant for Jet Blue, a hero. He stood up to a passenger who, reports indicate, was being rude and physically assaulting. Some say Slater's behavior challenges the concept "the customer is always right," while others' hold the employer responsible for caring more about passenger than the employee. I believe the true reason for his, and others behavior was workplace stress and a lack of behavior training for long time employees. In my opinion employers fail to provide small behavior training's because they prioritize familiarity and experience in the job over personal growth and well being of the employees. What I see is a lack of balance between training for the job and training the people who do the job.

Examples of workplace stress are showing up all over the nation and can be seen in the media almost daily. I understand all the reasons for workplace stress, however, it is my belief that all employees should have continuous training. Events like the Jet Blue incident can be offset by short training's, at least once a quarter, in anger/stress management, as well as emotional intelligence and communication. These programs should be designed especially, but not exclusively, for employees who have considerable interaction with the public. This is important for long time employees.

When In A Funk!

Picasso's greatest artistic period was as a result of being in a deep funk. Years ago when I was in a funk a friend of mine told me this story about Picasso's funk.

As the story goes, Picasso was painting in hues of yellow. While painting in these hues of yellow on a canvas in his studio he got stuck with where to go next with his painting. He began to grumble and moan and as the day wore on Picasso simply became down right unruly to his wife. While working in the kitchen her husbands constant grumbling and bad attitude started driving her nuts. No longer able to maintain her silence she said with great attitude of her own @&!&@&#*&! just throw any color on the @%@@^@&@@^ canvas!

Feeling very obstinate Picasso did throw a totally opposite color on the canvas which I think was suppose to shock his wife initially however what it did was take him in a totally different direction artistically. The painting lead to his most famous artistic Blue Period.

I learned three things from the story one of which is never never impose my funk on anyone else hence the name "my funk"; and secondly, when in a funk, do something completely different maybe even out-of-the-box maybe not drastic just different; and lastly never underestimate the power of a funk because what can be there is something rich full and abundant.

Dunno if some of the facts of the story have fallen by the wayside since first hearing it years ago however the bottom-line is a funk can be a rich fertile place to work from.

Do Something Different!

It may be a small a matter, or maybe not, however, if you haven't noticed anger can't be overcome by more anger. If a person is directing their anger to you and you show anger in return, the result is 99% certain to be a disaster. In contrast, try to control your anger. Do something different—think before you react, show compassion, show patience, or even walk away until the issue can be talked about. Not only will you remain at peace and avoid confrontation, but the anger of the others and yourself will gradually dissipate.

Time Out! Not Just For Kids

An angry customer is sure bait for an argument, however, an argument can't proceed without a participant. Sometimes one creates a dynamic impression by speaking and sometimes one creates as significant an impression by remaining silent. If you feel that a customer is making you escalate in your anger, use time-out. You learned that approach in Kindergarten.

Taking a time-out will immediately help to de-escalate anger before it becomes too intense. Quick burst of intense anger leads to verbal and physical abuse for many people. Use the time-out technique to avoid the anger trap. When taking a time-out try repeating one of these affirmations:

I don't need to prove myself in this situation.

I can stay calm.

As long as I keep my cool, I'm in control of myself.

No need to doubt myself, what other people say doesn't matter.

I'm the only person who can make me mad or keep me calm.

I need to take time to relax and slow things down.

When Your Buttons Get Pushed, How Well Do You Manage?

When you have an automatic, negative response to something, this often indicates a hypersensitivity that's referred to as "getting your buttons pushed." Usually these sensitivities have developed due to hurtful childhood experiences, such as repeatedly being criticized, rejected or controlled. For example, if your parents were very controlling, when someone tells you to do something, you may resist--often subconsciously. Answer the following two sets of questions to discover how well you manage your buttons being pushed.
Set 1

True False

1. When my buttons get pushed, I tend to shut down and withdraw.


2. When someone hurts me--even when I know it was unintentional--I lash out at them or blame myself.

3. I hate it when someone tells me I'm "too sensitive."


4. When someone says or does something that triggers the feelings connected to an old emotional pain, it takes me a long time to let go of it and feel centered again. I often carry a resentment.


5. Sometimes I have no idea why I do what I do--I just can't control myself.


6. Once someone pushes my buttons, that's it--my wall goes up and stays up. I feel like a powerless little kid.

Set 2
True False

7. When old feelings are triggered by something in the present, I take a deep breath, acknowledge that old feelings have been activated, get myself to a safe and comfortable environment and seek the support I need.


8. Rather than feeling victimized and blaming someone for pushing my buttons, I, again, take a deep breath, and then take an honest look at myself to see what I can learn from the situation.


9. I've worked to uncover old, painful issues so that I can release what was triggered and not feel at the mercy of my emotional response.


10. When I feel triggered, it often has nothing to do with the person who pushed my buttons.


11. I'm familiar with my most common "buttons"; I recognize them more quickly now and am less reactive.


12. When my buttons do get pushed now, I am able to see the unresolved issues needing my attention.


13. I feel like an empowered adult when I can courageously look at my emotional triggers and work through them.

If you answered true more often in Set 1 and false more often in Set 2, you may wish to learn how to deal more effectively when your buttons get pushed and how to release their charge. Please don't hesitate to call if you'd like to explore this issue further.