A Beginning Step In Stopping Negative Thinking

Research shows that we have approximately 65,000 thoughts per day. Amazin' right? True, 65,000 thoughts per day and somewhere around 85% of a person's thoughts are negative. This averages around one negative thought per second. The range of what you say to yourself is vast.

Here is a practice for you.  Catch the very first thought that you can catch. Just know they are fast and fleeting and you don't need to catch them all. Just start with one negative thought and turn it into a positive one. For example; "darn it I'm so stupid I forgot the milk....now add something positive....like "yep, I did forget the milk but it certainly isn't because of stupidity".....or even simpler, "not true I just forgot".  

Even if that 85% is off by say 1/4 or 1/2 or 3/4 or even 99% isn't that too much negative thinking? Refuse to be driven by negative thoughts.....more later.....

Anger Management Institute, specializing in anger and stress management and performance coaching in the workplace.  510.393.0250

The Boss From Hell

I'm working with a brilliant employer ordered client.  He has a wonderful value system and great follow through on his values and ethics however he probably is a combination of many employers' dreams and nightmare.

The dream employee is one who takes initiative, knows and loves the work and is so good at what he does that he makes money for the company beyond the quarterly goal.  The nightmare is that often this type of employee focus is more about the work than the staff that do the work.  Knowing the work does not always mean you have the ability to lead the people who do the jobs. 

 Mark regards his staff as being on another level than himself.   Consequently, his department soars in accomplishments but the carnage this leader leaves in the wake of delivering a high bar of excellence is considerable. This has to do with Mark being a perfectionist who lacks emotional intelligence.  His focus is askew.

 Marks focuses a lot on his belief of being on a  "higher level" than his staff.  The result of this thinking is a preoccupation with finding errors in the staffs' work.  It is almost like looking for shortcomings to prove his personal theory of being "better than them".  Because the focus is there he always gets' a payoff of finding an error to confirm his "truth".  These constant shortcomings create high frustration and anxiety for Mark. As a result of his, focus  Mark is always yelling or criticizing one of his staff members for what he perceives as their shortcoming.  As a result, there is always dissension among his ranks.

Mark is actually focusing on the wrong thing which is the minutia when in fact if he focused on how his team and the team members have made his departments the "star"  department he could see the staff members' value. 

Mark is pretty much angry on a daily basis which is why he is in anger management. Mark has forgotten that the success of the department is a collaborative effort between him and his staff.  Our work together will be to enhance his emotional intelligence and to switch his focus to a perspective that will better serve him and the dept staff.  The more realistic perspective is that he and his staff work together to make this success.  By enhancing Mark's EQ he can decipher better the complementing strengths that make for the departments' success and less about the staffs' differences. I call this shifting.  By helping Mark shift his perspective/focus he will shift to a new reality.  One which will take huge pressure off of him and his department staff.

If you have a manager or boss creating discomfort in your workplace please call the Anger Management Institute, 510.393.0250 we have the solution.

One Simple Advantage For A Workplace Performance Coach

Performance Coaching is a powerful cost-effective strategy for meeting a companies goals and objectives and positively empowering the workplace environment and culture.  Why does having an empowered workforce matter for an organization? Empowered employees are more engaged – resulting in better retention, higher productivity and a higher quality of customer service.

Interested in learning more about hiring a Performance Coach for your workplace?  Please call the Anger Management Institute, a specialist in improving behavior and performance in the workplace.  

510.393.0250

Stress Management 101

Part 1

Stress has two faces.  It is both normal and dangerous.  It is both energizing and debilitating.  It can move you forward or be the precursor to fatal illnesses.  This first series on stress 101 is to give you the foundation and knowledge and tips of recognizing, understanding and managing stress.  First a foundation of  knowledge of stress is essential.

 If you’re breathing and living in the world then you’re going to experience stress.  What we’re usually talking about when we speak of stress are a set of symptoms that vary from person to person.  Stomach issues, digestive issues, tightness of your neck and shoulders, depression, constant fatigue, headaches, and sleeplessness to name a few symptoms caused by excessive stress. 

 A certain amount of stress is normal and good.  It is a driving energy that is usable and  an energy that you can use to move forward in your life.  When stress is good it is energizing, motivating and productive.  Stress becomes a problem both physically and mentally when there is too much or experienced over a prolonged period of time without relief. 

Learn To Recognize And Control Your Thoughts

Stress is not always a reaction to a specific situation. Often, our thoughts can lead to intense feelings of stress. Whether a situation is big or small we determine the size of the situation by the thoughts that we think.  Have you ever noticed how uptight you feel when you are caught up in your own thinking?  Once a situation occurs that creates some stress the mind begins to race from one thought which leads to another and another and yet another until at some point, you become incredibly agitated. The solution is to notice what's happening in your head before your thoughts have a chance to build momentum.  I call what happens "going on automatic"! Once you go on "automatic" then you will probably go into anger or some other inappropriate behavior. You can stop your thoughts at anytime.  The sooner you catch yourself in the act of building your mental snowball or mind tornado, the easier it it is to stop.

Anger Management Institute, LLC 510.3930250