Why We Shout In Anger

This is a Hindu story that I Love.  I thought you might enjoy the story and the message as well.

"Why We Shout In Anger"

A Hindu saint who was visiting the river Ganges to take a bath and found a group of family members on the banks, shouting in anger at each other. He turned to his disciples smiled and asked.

'Why do people shout in anger at each other?'

Disciples thought for a while, one of them said, 'Because we lose our calm, we shout.'

'But, why should you shout when the other person is just next to you? You can as well tell him what you have to say in a soft manner.' asked the saint

Disciples gave some other answers but none satisfied the other disciples.
Finally the saint explained, .

'When two people are angry at each other, their hearts distance a lot. To cover that distance they must shout to be able to hear each other. The angrier they are, the stronger they will have to shout to hear each other to cover that great distance.

What happens when two people fall in love? They don't shout at each other but talk softly, Because their hearts are very close. The distance between them is either nonexistent or very small...'

The saint continued, 'When they love each other even more, what happens? They do not speak, only whisper 'n they get even closer to each other in their love. Finally they even need not whisper, they only look at each other 'n that's all. That is how close two people are when they love each other.'

He looked at his disciples and said.

'So when you argue do not let your hearts get distant, Do not say words that distance each other more, Or else there will come a day when the distance is so great that you will not find the path to return.'

2013 Upcoming Facilitator Trainings

 Are you interested in learning how to be an Anger Management Facilitator? Here are the  first of the 2013 Anger Management Facilitator trainings.  I will be personally teaching the Oakland Training.  For more information please call the Anger management Institute @510.393.0250 

Services Offered At The Anger Management Institute, LLC

The Anger Management Institute, LLC, specializes in Anger and Stress management, and Emotional Intelligence Coaching for individuals, groups, management and upper management.  In addition we offer:

• Bar-On EQ 2.0 Emotional Intelligence Assessments
• Court Ordered Anger Management Behavior Assessments
• Emotional Intelligence Coaching
• Private Coaching
• Presentations
• Anger Management Consultation
• Organizational Anger Management
• Civility Coaching for Attorneys
• Anger Management Coaching for Self-Referred
• Anger Management Coaching in Spanish and English
• All Services are provided for the Disabled including Hearing impaired
• Military
• Court Ordered

My Secret Weapon:The Kitchen Timer

I don’t know about you, but there are times when I can’t complete (or sometimes start) the simplest or even an important task. My secret weapon: a kitchen timer.

When I'm feeling paralysis around completing an important task, I use a kitchen timer to help me move forward. I use it for all sorts of tasks.    Whether it's a dresser drawer a closet that needs to be cleaned or a desk that needs to be organized, the timer can truly be your friend.  It works for anything!  

Whatever the task, I start by setting the timer for ten minutes and I focus on the task until the timer sounds.   You'll be pleasantly surprised at what you can accomplish in that time.  The entire task is really the sum total of small pieces. The overwhelm comes from looking at the daunting whole. The clue is to do the task in small chunks. Then you can nip procrastination in its evil bud!!

 By using a timer as a tool, you're getting the task done with the added benefit of emptying your head from constantly "thinking about getting the task done".  Overthinking a task creates stress, and IT’S an energetic drain!   You can stay with the job for ten minutes or you can decide to increase the time and finish another round.  You're in control. Be conservative about your time increase in the beginning.  Whatever you do start with ten minutes and work until you hear the "ding".

Breaking News In Emotional Intelligence for Anger Management.

This is a re-post from one of the blogs that the Anger Management Guru, George Anderson posted on October 26, 2012.  The Anderson model which is the model that I use at the Anger Management Institute,  in Oakland, California  This model is the most successful and effective model for anger management worldwide.  See below who we train as providers of anger management as well as who we service.

Health Care Organizations, Fortune 500 Companies, the Veterans Administration, U.S. Marine Corp, Air Fore, U.S. Coast Guard as well as the Criminal Justice System have all played a major role is promoting mandatory Emotional Intelligence for impulse control.

Some Examples of organizational support for Emotional Intelligence Coaching for anger management:

• The California Board of Corrections has approved Evidenced Based Anger Management for all California Prisons.
• The California Superior Court has approved Certified Anger Management Facilitators for mandated court referrals.
• The Veterans Administration has approved Anger Management Facilitator Certification training for Clinical Social Workers employed by the VA nationwide.
• The Joint Commission on the Accreditation of Health Care Organizations has approved Emotional Intelligence for “disruptive physicians”.
• The Illinois State Supreme Court has approved Civility Training for Illinois attorneys as a condition of licensing.
• Monster.com is now advising applicants to voluntarily undergo an Emotional Intelligence Assessment prior to applying for jobs in which emotional intelligence skills such as sales, leadership or customer services.

In summary, coaching for impulse control/anger management is increasing in its’ recognition by major employers nationwide.